“This was the gues’ room,” Lily says, pointing to the left. “This is where Grams would sleep when she came to visit.”
“And where I would sleep before I moved here from Atlanta,” Quinn says.
“And this is Mommy’s room.” Lily walks across the hall and stops. Her voice cracks, as if she’s about to cry. “Hey—her pitchers and joolry boxes and pretty things all dis’peared!”
“Your grams and I packed them up,” Quinn says gently. “We saved them for you for when you’re bigger.”
Lily opens the closet door. “Where’s all her clothes?”
“Your grams and I cleared them out.” Quinn’s voice, too, has a slight quaver. She surreptitiously wipes her face.
Lily steps into the master bathroom. The countertop is completely clear except for a box of tissues. She opens the cabinet under the vanity and finds it empty as well. Tears stream down her face. “Everythin’s all gone.”
“Yes, sweetie.” Quinn follows her in. I stand outside the bathroom, but I can see their reflections in the large framed mirror over the sink. Quinn kneels down and hugs the child. Lily’s arms curl around Quinn’s neck, and she cries into Quinn’s hair.
My throat grows tight. I stand there, feeling awkward and useless. I ache to comfort them, but the loss is theirs, and this moment is, too. My arms feel long and unwieldy, and my heart thuds like a flat tire.
After a long moment, Quinn gets a tissue and dabs Lily’s face. Lily sniffs, then wanders back into the bedroom. While Quinn uses a tissue herself, Lily kneels down, lifts the dust ruffle, and peers under the bed. She stands up, crosses the room, and opens a dresser drawer. Again, it’s empty.
“Can you show me your room?” I ask.
Lily nods. She takes my hand and leads me across the hall.
“Oh, my,” I say. “We must have taken a wrong turn. It looks like we left the house and stepped into a royal palace.”
She grins. “No, we’re in my room.”
“Well, then, you must be a princess or a fairy, because this looks like the kind of place where a fairy princess would sleep.”
“You’re silly.” Her smile fades as she looks around. “But it looks all naked! My books an’ stuffed an’mals are missing.” She opens her closet. “An’ my clothes, and my toys!” Her bottom lip trembles.
“You have some of them at my place.” Quinn has silently entered the bedroom behind us. “And the rest are in Alexandria, remember? Grams’s friends packed up some of your things and sent them to us, and we’ll go get the rest when Grams is better.”
Lily turns around slowly. “This is my room an’ my house, but it’s not the same at all.”
“No,” Quinn says. “It’s not the same.”
“An’ Mommy’s not here.”
“No, sweetie.”
“That’s ’cause she’s dead, right?”
“Yes, honey. But your memories of her and the love you shared will always be with you.”
“Yeah. But it’s not the same.”
“No, it’s not.”
Lily plops down on her bed, her legs dangling over, her slight shoulders rounded. Quinn sits down beside her and embraces her. They stay like that a long while, then Lily looks up. “I’m tired. Can we go home now?”
Tears well in Quinn’s eyes. She tenderly places her hand on the child’s head. “That’s a great idea.”
The significance of the moment is not lost on me. Home means Quinn’s place now. Together they walk down the stairs, Quinn’s arm around Lily. I follow, my heart feeling as soft as Lily’s teddy bear.
As we trudge back through the neighborhood in the fading light, I realize I haven’t once, all evening, thought about the fact that my wife has filed for divorce.
CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE
