“No.” I look out the window. “Although I still do. A part of me might always love him. He’s a great guy—a really good, decent, do-the-right-thing kind of man.” A better man than I am a woman. The thought is sobering. “I don’t think we brought out the best in each other, though. I hated what I was doing to him. And I hated the person I was becoming in our marriage.” I twist toward Brett. “How about you? Do you still love Sue Anne?”
“Yeah. But now it’s more like affection than ‘capitalL’ love. It took me a while to sort it all out. At first, it just felt like a huge loss.” He turns into a parking spot. “I was so used to her being there every single day.”
“Well, Zack and I have already worked through that part.”
He gives a small smile. “That’s true.”
“And I have a new big job to focus on, and he has Lily and Quinn... and the baby.” I choke a little on the last word.
“It’ll be okay.” He looks over and covers my hand with his. “And for what it’s worth—which is zip, because it’s your marriage and your life and I’m just an outside observer—yeah. I do think you’re doing the right thing.”
“Thanks.”
He gives my hand a little squeeze, then lifts his to turn off the car engine. But I feel the imprint of his warm palm on my skin for a long time after he moves it away.
CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE
Quinn
LILY IS SEATEDat the vanity in her bedroom on Wednesday morning while I fix her hair. She’s decided she wants to wear it parted on the side and fastened with a barrette shaped like a butterfly. “Is Daddy coming over today?”
I put down the brush and pick up a comb. “I don’t know, honey.” I haven’t heard from Zack since we saw him on Saturday, and I’m a little disconcerted by how much I miss him. I tell myself I need to get used to it; after all, he’s moving across the country. Still, I find myself thinking about him all the time. I wonder if he’s thinking about us.
“Is the sad lady still with him?”
“Miss Jessica? I think she went back to Seattle yesterday.”
“You should call him,” Lily says.
“Oh, I don’t want to bother him.”
“He won’t be bothered.”
I section off some of her golden hair to put in the barrette. “Well, he might be, so I don’t want to do it.”
“Can I call him?”
I think about it; I actually do. But my phone number would show up on his screen and he’d know I’d punched the buttons. He’d think I put Lily up to it.
Or maybe he wouldn’t. But then again, he might.
Why am I overthinking this so much? It’s not a good idea. Neither Lily nor I need to get used to having Zack around all the time. He’s moving.
He’s married.
“No,” I say, angling in the barrette. “He’s at work and he’s busy.”
“Mommy was never too busy for me. An’ you’re not, either. I bet Daddy’s the same.”
“We’d be interrupting an important meeting,” I say, although I have no proof.
“Well, maybe we can call him after work.”
“Maybe.” I can’t get the barrette’s clasp to fasten. I reinsert it and try again.
“Is that a real ‘maybe’ or a no ‘maybe’? Because there are two different kinds.”
“You’re such a smarty-pants!” I laugh, finally getting the barrette to snap.
