I don’t want to even open that discussion. “Let’s stick with what’s on the table right now.”
“I can be just as good a mother to Lily as Quinn.”
“Like your Realtor friend said about getting pregnant—it’s not a competition, Jessica. I don’t want to go against the birth mother’s wishes, I don’t want to drag Lily away from the only family she knows, and I don’t want to violate the terms of a contract I signed. Plus it’s such a legal long shot it’s ludicrous to even discuss it.”
She looks like she might cry. “Did you get a copy of the will?”
“Yeah.”
“And?”
“It’s pretty much what we thought.”
She stares at her water bottle for a moment. “Well, if you’re so keen not to violate the terms of your donor contract, you should just stay out of their lives until they’re eighteen, like you agreed.”
“But Lily knows I’m her father, and I assume the baby will, too. Do you want them to grow up thinking I don’t care about them?”
“But you weren’tsupposedto be a part of their lives. You were supposed to be an anonymous donor.”
You should have thought about that before you impersonated me on that website.I sigh. “But I’m not anonymous anymore, am I? You can’t unring the bell.”
“David Foster Wallace.”
“What?”
“He’s widely considered the source of that quote because it appears in his fiction, but it was used in a trial in Oregon before he was born.”
“Your memory is amazing,” I say.If somewhat irrelevant, I think.
She gives a stiff smile.
“There’s another possibility.” I shift on the barstool to more fully face her. “We could eliminate the distance.”
“What?”
“We stay here. I’m sure the New Orleans hotel would be delighted to have you stay on. And I’m up for partner at my old law firm.”
She puts a hand on her chest. Her expression reminds me of the time we were walking in the park and she realized she’d stepped in dog poop. “But... we decided! You agreed to move, and I’m looking at houses.”
I raise both hands, trying to placate her. “Please—just think about it. The situation is different now. Two children are involved, and we didn’t know that when we made the decision about Seattle. Staying here might be best for everyone.”
“You think it would be best for me to turn down a promotion and give up living near my family so I can watch another woman have your baby and raise your children?”
She’s looking at it all wrong. “If we’re here, we could help raise them, too.”
“No.” The barstool squeaks on the floor as she rises from it. “No freaking way. Not just no, buthell,no!I didn’t sign up to be a stepmother to your children!”
“Jessica...”
She throws out her arms in a large gesture. “I don’t want to live here and play second fiddle to another woman. No! That sounds like my worst nightmare.”
I know it isn’t how she imagined things, but her stance strikes me as completely self-centered. Before I know it, the words I managed to squelch earlier are flying out of my mouth. “You should have thought about that before you impersonated me on that donor website.”
“Oh, wow.” She plops back on the barstool and holds the paper towel to her face for several seconds, as if I’d struck her.
I blow out a long sigh. “I’m sorry, Jess. That was an unkind thing to say.”
She lowers the paper towel. “You have no idea how much I regret that.”
