A modicum of relief left Gillian's knees weak. Forcing herself to put her nervousness aside, she led the way up through the hall and up the stairs. The large solar had been prepared for Eleanor, with the adjoining chambers for her ladies. Gillian assumed the queen's personal maid would sleep at the foot of the bed.
Oh no! She'd forgotten to tell Royce which chamber would be for Edward. She bade the queen to enter and stepped out into the corridor, calling for Thomas. The steward appeared quickly, making Gillian thankful the loyal servant would manage the situation well for her. She explained her dilemma. Thomas gave her a reassuring smile.
"Don't worry, m'lady, I will see to it. You tend the queen and I will assist the earl."
"Thank you. I don't know what I'd do without you, Thomas." She gave him a brief hug and giggled at the flush staining his cheeks before he hurried off.
Turning back to the queen's chamber, she took a deep breath and knocked, opening the door when Eleanor bade her.
"Join us, Lady Gillian."
The queen waved toward the chair beside hers. Her other ladies gathered around the room, several watchingGillian intently. Feeling as though she had been placed on display, she obeyed Eleanor's order and eased into the chair beside her sovereign.
The queen regarded her thoughtfully for several seconds. Unsure if she should say something, Gillian remained silent, folding her hands in her lap and thanking the Lord above no one could see how tightly her gut had knotted.
"Many of my ladies are quite jealous of you."
Eleanor's words broke the awkward silence. Gillian met the queen's piercing stare.
"Your Highness?"
"You've captured one of the most sought after nobles of the court. Several of my ladies had hoped to win his heart."
Gillian glanced at the faces of the other women, and while most watched her with cool stares, she detected no outright malice. That gave her a small measure of comfort. She pressed her damp palms against her dress.
"I had nothing to do... I mean, the contracts were made regardless of..."
No matter how she chose to explain, the queen likely thought she resented the marriage. 'Twould never do.
"Your Majesty, what I mean is that I didn't intend to interfere with any other... relationships the earl may have had."
Eleanor laughed. "Don't worry, my dear. The Panther has always been aloof, never giving anyone hope he might ask for their hand. We gave you to him because if we didn't, he might never wed. Besides, we need his strong army here near the border."
Why did she feel worse than ever? Was she not worthy, merely a tool to be bargained away? Until these last few days, she had never felt so unwanted and worthless. She twisted her hands in her lap, not sure how to respond. Determined not to allow anger and sadness to show, she focused on the household.
"The meal will be ready soon. I've ordered the cooks tomake all of their specialties. And a few of your favorites, according to my husband."
The queen smiled. "No doubt all will be delicious. You seem nervous, child. What troubles you?"
"Nothing, Your Highness. I do have a lot to prepare for the meal; however, if you need me, I will stay."
Eleanor reached over and patted her hand. The reassuring gesture, along with the understanding in the queen's eyes, eased the snarl in Gillian's stomach.
"I have my ladies to tend me. Do what you must. We will join you below when 'tis time."
Gillian nodded and rose. She hesitated, then sank into another low curtsy before hurrying from the room. Once outside, she heaved a deep breath. God's blood, how did someone survive at court? She could barely make it through a few minutes and felt ready to retch.
A few more steadying breaths and she headed below to seek out Thomas and confer with the cooks.
***
Royce walked beside Edward toward the keep. He had much to share with the king, and worried the news might set off Edward's temper. Royce knew he was one of the few who could keep his sovereign calm when sharing grave tidings.
"Your journey went well, I trust?" he asked. He ignored the strange glance the king shot at him.
"Aye. The roads were muddy from the storms, but we fared well enough." Edward stopped, halting Royce with a hand on his arm. "What's wrong?"
"We will discuss it inside. There's trouble."
