Joshua could only agree. But what price to change matters? Could he endure a season in London, even to find a bride? He feared his resolve might crumble in the face of so many temptations. He could not return to the life of a wastrel and break his vow.
“Such doings in London, that wicked place, but it must be ever so lively.” Mrs. Baird sighed again, her words unwittingly echoing Joshua’s own thoughts. “I suppose there is no chance of ever seeing it with my own eyes.”
“I believe his lordship intends to sell the London house,” Fairfax said, which was entirely true.
Mrs. Baird and Reed sighed as one at the opportunities lost with that potential transaction. “Tell us of that last time in London again,” Mrs. Baird urged, undoubtedly speaking to Reed. “I wish I could have seen the argument between those two boys myself.”
“I saw only a part of it and could not hear it all, but you would not have recognized his lordship,” Reed said, ignoring how Fairfax cleared his throat in disapproval. “He was as a man possessed. Such fire and fury! I have never seen him thus, andthere were hot words between they two, for the first time I ever heard. Of course, Master Gerald was unrepentant, and the old lord was livid with them both.”
“Curious,” Fairfax said. “One must wonder at the cause.”
“There is no cause to wonder,” Reed said. “’Twas always about a woman with Master Gerald.”
Mrs. Baird laughed. “Ah, he would have had a dozen children in these halls by now if he had been the heir.”
“His lordship is a good man and a better viscount than his younger brother would ever have been,” Fairfax chastised her. “We might have found ourselves in the street with no more than a crust of bread if positions had been reversed and Mister Gerald had inherited the title.”
Joshua turned away. All of their lives, the brothers had been compared, and save for his father and apparently his butler, Joshua was always judged to be inferior to Gerald. A better companion, a better guest, better with a jest and in coaxing a lady’s smile, Gerald had possessed more charm in his smallest finger than Joshua in his entire body.
Gerald had lived every minute of every day. He lit a room when he entered it. His smile prompted even the most surly curmudgeon to soften. And the women. Joshua shook his head. Women had fallen at Gerald’s feet wherever he went.
The two brothers, to be sure, could not have been more opposite in nature. Yet despite that and all that had passed between them, he missed his younger brother.
Joshua returned to his library, no longer caring where he dined. Oh, Gerald would have enjoyed every moment of having the title and the modest Hargood fortune. It might have taken him a fortnight to rid himself of every last shilling. He would have laughed when it was done, unburdened by regret—then charmed some heiress and spent her legacy, too.
In contrast, Joshua was committed to keeping the estate solvent for the rest of his life. It was true that the house seemed to brood in silence in these days, the shadowy corners filled with ghosts. Fairfax was right. Once, these halls had been lively. Once there had been guests and parties, even the occasional ball. Christmas had been magical. But the merriment had ended with his mother’s death.
Addersley Manor had need of a viscountess.
Where would he find a bride?
Of greater import, what kind of wife would suit him best?
Joshua began to compose a list, for every task was more readily achieved with a clear objective. First and foremost, the lady should be vivacious. He yearned for his home to echo with laughter again. She should be of a health and age that allowed for the bearing of children., so their laughter might join her own. He would not mind if she were lovely, though he was more interested in her nature than her appearance. Was it wrong to wish for a wife who snared his attention, who surprised him on occasion, who might match wits with him or share in the pleasure of good books? Joshua thought not. Such a woman could not fail to stir his blood.
Beyond that, he had few requirements. If she could not ride, he could teach her. If she knew little of managing a household like Addersley Manor, he would be content for her to learn at her own pace, even if she made mistakes. He did not care whether she had a dowry either, for he was comfortable in his own right.
He reviewed his list then added one more item. It would be best, in his view, if the lady bore no resemblance to Miss Charlotte Havilland, his betrothed who had died. People would make much of it and though he cared little for gossip and rumor, the lady might be wounded by such idle speculation. If a lady accepted his suit and became his wife, she would be beneath hisprotection and Joshua would not allow her to be injured in any way.
Dark hair then, or chestnut tresses. Anything but blonde the hue of honey. She should not be tall and willowy like Charlotte. In truth, he had a fondness for petite women. There was something delightful about sweeping a woman off her feet and into his arms. He recalled carrying off a courtesan in those London days, much to their mutual satisfaction—although that happy result had not solely been due to his carrying her to the bed.
Was it wrong to consider the appeal of marriage’s physical delights? Joshua thought not. Indeed, he had been solitary too long and sons were not conceived by will alone.
He had a list then, and an objective. What remained was to create a plan, ideally one that did not require his return to London for the season.
Were there any ladies in the vicinity of Addersley that fulfilled his list?
He could not say.
Joshua frowned at his desk and picked up the letters that had been delivered that morning. There were a few tradesman’s bills, anticipated and of little interest, and one letter.
He noted the unkempt state of the paper. Had this missive been dragged through the mud before its delivery? Frowning, Joshua held it with distaste as he opened it, then stared at the single line within.
You must pay for your brother’s crime.
Joshua turned the missive over,finding neither return address nor postmark, nor indeed, any other distinguishing mark. Had it been delivered by hand? He would ask Fairfax but could already guess what the reply might be. Someone had gone to some trouble to deliver this message without detection.
Just like the last one.
