Enough.
Eliza was not for him and he was not for her. How could he fail to understand this simple truth? A dalliance would only tarnish her reputation and diminish her chances of future happiness—even if he could have provided one.
He was a fool, an optimist when there was no cause to be one, a man who always kept his vow. He would protect Eliza with all in his possession, expecting naught in return.
He would even deny her invitation to lead her astray, for her own good.
Nicholas turned his steps at the corner, intending to head for White’s instead of his aunt’s house. They would admit him to the club thanks to his association with Haynesdale, and there, he would most assuredly find a brandy and soon. The same was not true of his aunt’s abode.
The last thing he desired on this night was to dream.
He feared, though, that he might have no choice.
He halted then, considering. He had to face his demons sooner or later. He would not be able to indulge when Haynesdale took him to Brooks’s. Perhaps he should accept Eliza’s challenge and forgo the brandy on this night, the better to take the measure of what haunted him.
Nicholas had never been afraid to face the worst, and on this night, he knew a wise notion when he heard it. He pivoted and headed for his aunt’s abode, determined to take the measure of his nightmare.
That might well be the first step to conquering it.
Chapter 6
Eliza watched Nicholas stride away, her fingertips rising to her lips in wonder after his glorious kiss. Had he ended their embrace because the carriage had reached the house? Had he meant to protect her reputation? Or had she done something wrong in responding with enthusiasm?
She did not know.
She did not care.
She only wanted more. She had never felt such an ache before, or experienced a yearning left unsatisfied. She had never been discontent with the sum of physical union, but on this night, she burned for another kiss, if not more.
Clearly, Mrs. Oliver’s advice had merit. Eliza turned toward the house with a light step, telling herself to be content to have a kiss to dream on.
Such progress would suffice for this night, at least.
Then she paused and turned to the driver who had been with the family for decades. Nicholas had mentioned his horse. “Thomson, does Captain Emerson not have a horse?”
“Indeed, my lady, he does. A fine stallion to be sure.”
“Does Lady Dalhousie have a stable?” It seemed unlikely that a modest townhouse would have a stable.
“Not so far as I know, my lady. Sterling is in our stable, at His Grace’s insistence. Captain Emerson was going to board him, but the duke would not hear of it.”
“Just the one horse then?”
“The one as carried him safely through each battle, my lady. The others, I believe, were palfreys and such, sold on the Continent or lost in the war. Sterling, though, has a fine lineage and the captain would not surrender him, though he did not like the ocean passage either time.”
“I remember that Captain Emerson’s horses were always the best trained at Southpoint.”
“A right gift of it he has, my lady. I always said that the Emerson boy knew what a horse would do before the horse began to think of it.”
Eliza laughed at that.
“You might remember Sterling being born at Haynesdale, my lady. He was maybe six years of age when the Captain took him to war and as fine a horse as ever you saw.”
Eliza sobered, remembering that Nicholas had taken only one horse with him from Southpoint. There had been mingling of stock between the horses at Southpoint and Haynesdale for years, and one remarkable stallion had been the product of it. That had been the horse Nicholas had taken, at Eliza’s father’s insistence.
“I do remember,” she said. “Papa insisted that he take that horse, though I had forgotten the stallion’s name.”
“Aye, the old duke knew that a military man needs a horse he can rely upon, to be sure. You should have a look at him one day, my lady. Finest stud I’ve seen in years.”
