“I feel thus when my commander appears to inspect my troops. Surely that cannot be love?”
Eliza laughed. “You know it is not.”
“I suspect as much, surely. There must be a more accurate measure.”
“One’s mouth goes dry in the presence of the heart’s captor, and words are elusive. Even coherence can be a challenge.”
He nodded. “Then I was in love with my first tutor of mathematics, for that was my reaction each time he demanded my solution to a query.”
“You know that was not love!”
“I have no means to be certain as yet.”
“You cannot bear to be separated from the one you hold in esteem and yearn to be reunited whenever you are apart.”
“I feel thus about my horse, to be sure. Perhaps I should leave this gathering and check upon Sterling’s welfare.”
Eliza laughed, her eyes dancing in a most delightful way. “You mock me, sir.”
“Perhaps I tease you in this, but my desire for knowledge cannot be denied.” He smiled and shook his head slightly. “I am utterly at your mercy, Mrs. North. Please do instruct me.”
Their gazes locked for a moment during which he dared not blink, then Eliza, against every expectation, drew closer. She dropped her voice to a whisper, her lips almost against his skin, her breath sending shivers through him. Nicholas could scarcely recall the steps to the dance, and he did not even take a breath lest she move away.
“Love is consuming,” she whispered. “Love claims one’s every thought and every moment. Love insists that one be with one’s beloved, even if just in their presence and unable to speak openly. Love demands that one do whatever is necessary to bring about that happy proximity, no matter the price to one’s pride. Love urges one to put the interest of the beloved before one’s own interest, no matter the expense.” Then she touched her lips to his flesh, bestowing the lightest of kisses.
It could have been no accident.
Nicholas was stunned.
He looked down at her in awe and watched her smile. “Love is humble, then,” he managed to say, though his voice was husky.
“Indeed.” She fairly glowed with the assertion and Nicholas regretted that the music ended.
He led her from the floor, not wanting to release her hand or relinquish her company. “I fear I have no capacity for humility, or so I have been told. Perhaps my pursuit of love is doomed.”
“It is true,” Eliza acknowledged with a playful smile. “You have always been infernally confident, Captain.”
“But is such confidence unwarranted?”
“You seek a compliment from me, sir, which is unworthy of you.”
“Once again, you outwit me, Mrs. North. It seems that a love match cannot be for me. I fear I should only disappoint the lady in my shortfalls.” He made a show of considering the matter deeply, but shook his head in apparent defeat. “No, it will be solitude for me, I fear, unless I encounter an heiress who cannot survive without my companionship.”
“Solitude and brandy,” his companion corrected. “Have you consumed anything this day that was not delivered in a glass?”
Trust Eliza to be unafraid of declaring his truth.
“Not a morsel,” Nicholas acknowledged cheerfully. “It has been a day to excel all others.”
“But you cannot live on brandy!”
“I assure you that I have seen it done,” he said, hearing that his tone had become a little harder.
She persisted, as fearless as ever, and he could only admire her. “But why?”
Nicholas bowed before her, surprised to find himself answering her. “Because then I do not dream, Mrs. North,” he murmured. “And that is the best possible situation.” He swallowed to find Eliza watching him, her eyes dark and her expression filled with compassion. He dropped his gaze, feeling that he had revealed too much, and kissed her gloved hand. “And now, to consider the heiresses,” he said, winked at her, then excused himself.
Nicholas knew he should take Haynesdale’s example and leave before he made a fool of himself. He should find some revels of less sedate variety than dancing at Almack’s. He should recall his own objectives and his father’s advice, and depart.
