“Aye, it has long been said that I have no heart at all.”She spoke as if it was a jest, then her eyes narrowed and she studied Alienor.“You have better color now—perhaps I should vex you more.”
Alienor felt an indignant flush flood her cheeks, which only served to give Iolande greater satisfaction.The older woman released her chin and strode to the door, calling for a servant to build up the fire.She sent Giselle to arrange a hot bath and a meal for her mistress.
“You will lie abed no longer,” Iolande informed Alienor.
“I have no reason to rise,” Alienor argued.What meaning had any of this without her husband by her side?Who would rejoice in the birth of her child in this hostile keep?
Annoyance flickered across Iolande’s features at her words and the woman strode back to her side.“You have more sense than this,” the older woman hissed, gripping Alienor’s upper arms and giving her a little shake.“What foolishness fills your thoughts that you think it finer to fade and die rather than welcome the fight and emerge victorious?Do not take the easy choice, child, for I was not alone in expecting more of you.”
Alienor looked up at Iolande with defiance.“There is no victory for a babe born without his sire.”She fairly bit out the words, pleased to see that her admission had stunned Iolande
“A babe?”the older woman breathed in wonder.Alienor nodded, watching Iolande’s lips work for a moment.“The fruit indeed is blessed,” she seemed to whisper, her lips curving into a smile much warmer than any Alienor had glimpsed so far.“When?”
“BeforeToussaints.”
“October,” Iolande whispered, her delight clear.“Aye, ’tis a good month for a babe, well before the snows and after the heat of summer.”She made to leave, then turned back, her eyes sparkling as she shook an admonishing finger at Alienor.
“You should have made this confession sooner, for there is much to be done.We will need more goats so that there is ample milk for you, and runners must be sent to the coast for fish.You must eat well in this time!”
“Aye, my lady.”The first glimmer of hope Alienor had felt in days lit in her breast, this tenuous alliance with Iolande giving her courage to fight.“Your approval surprises me,” she dared to comment.
“You would say ’tis unfitting for a Cathar to rejoice in birth?”
Puzzled by her attitude, Alienor nodded.“Aye.We are taught as much.”
“And of your role in this...”Iolande’s voice dropped to a whisper.“Are you ashamed, Alienor?”
Alienor flushed, not yet having come to terms with her part in bringing this child into the world.Had she not sinned in the eyes of her faith?Her own eyes filled with tears and she was surprised to find the older woman’s hand covering her own with a sympathetic squeeze.
“You are not aparfait, child,” Iolande said with soft conviction.“And your vows lie far ahead, if indeed you ever take them.Consolamentumis for widows, ascetics, those who have tasted the fullness of life’s pleasures and found them wanting.”
“But I have tried to follow the faith,” Alienor objected, seeing Iolande shake her head even through the haze of her tears.
“Do not be so hard on yourself,” she admonished.“There are many amongst the believers who do far less than you do even now.You are young, Alienor.”The two women’s gazes met.“Do not deny yourself a natural pleasure in this child’s arrival.’Tis a miracle, a triumph of love.Feel no guilt for your part in the deed.”
Alienor took a deep breath and considered Iolande’s words thoughtfully, hoping that the older woman did not tell her nonsense just to ease her heart.She dared to hold Iolande’s intent blue gaze, watching as her mother-in-law arched one brow.
“Make no mistake,” Iolande continued with a smile.“My counsel will change drastically should you bear six more.”
Alienor laughed at the unexpected jest, feeling closer to the countess than she ever had before.Perhaps she and Iolande could raise a warrior straight and true.A shadow of sadness crossed her heart again.There was no way for her to bear six more children with Dagobert gone, and the fear that had plagued her since she became aware of her conception returned to haunt her anew.
“Tell me, child,” Iolande whispered, her voice warm and close.
Alienor could not keep silent.“The fate of the babe concerns me,” she confessed and heard the long release of Iolande’s sigh.“Will my child be forced to hide all of his days?”Out of the corner of her eye she saw the older woman shake her head as if with regret.
“Look at me, Alienor,” Iolande commanded, but Alienor had not the strength to see the confirmation of her fears.“I would have you know that I tell no tales,” she insisted in a firm but quiet voice.Alienor looked up finally, blinking at the sincerity she saw in Iolande’s blue eyes.
“’Tis unhealthy for the babe if you fret for naught.Know that Dagobert’s affliction was a recent one, come upon him when he gained his manhood.”Iolande smiled a little.“Indeed, it was a burden he willingly chose himself.A legacy is one matter, but it was his decision to seek its return.”
“I understand.”Alienor closed her eyes and took a deep breath, feeling the weight of her concern slip from her shoulders.Her child would be able to choose, and that was sufficient to ease her fears.
Truly now she had no more to mourn than the loss of the babe’s sire.
Though that was burden enough, for it was a weight upon her very heart.Would she ever see Dagobert again?
“I would haveyou renounce your quest.”Iolande’s words rang with quiet conviction in the small darkened room.
Dagobert found his own shock at his mother’s request mirrored in Eustache’s gaze.They three were alone in the chamber and the keep was quiet as others slept.
