Was it more than than?Leila desperately hoped it might be.Their gazes locked for a moment and she could not take a full breath when he watched her so closely.“You seek a match of convenience.”
“Perhaps it would be so at first.Perhaps it would ripen to more.Who can say?Think of Gaston and Ysmaine.”He smiled but she guessed that he did not have any expectation of surrendering to love again.His sadness tore at her own heart and she put her hand over his own.
“I do.”
“As Duncan notes, a match would serve both of us for this moment.”His implication was clear.Perhaps it wouldnotripen to more.Perhaps they would live as friends and companions, but not true loves.
Convenience had never seemed so unpalatable to Leila as it did now, and that only because she wished for more.
She chided herself silently for being greedy.The suggestion had much merit.
“They will assume you are wedding your whore,” she noted.
Fergus was dismissive.“Let them believe what they will.Marry me, Leila, for the sake of both our goals.”
She shook her head.“It is not so simple.Our faiths are different...”
“Not so different as that.There is common ground between them, as we saw in Outremer.”
“But the differences are of import and have immediate implications.I do not mean to make obstacles, but how should we be wed?Who will officiate—a priest of your faith?I do not doubt that any such would insist upon my being baptized first, and I am not prepared to do so.”
Fergus studied her with curiosity.“Not ever?”
“Not yet, if ever.I do not know enough of your doctrine to make an informed choice.”She smiled at him.“When one talks of the immortal soul, only an informed choice will suffice.”
“True enough.”He frowned at the floor.“But I would suggest a handfast to you, not a marriage.”
Leila took a breath.“A pledge of a year and a day, as Radegunde and Duncan have made?”She instinctively disliked the casual nature of this bond, but it was a custom in this land and would not be the first such that she might need to embrace.It seemed an arrangement that would appeal to men, especially those who liked to have different partners, but perhaps she was too critical.
Radegunde had chosen it with Duncan, and done so whole-heartedly.Perhaps Leila should let her friend be her guide.
Fergus nodded.“We would live as husband and wife for that term, then decide how best to proceed.It would give you an opportunity to find a man to claim your heart truly and make the kind of match you desire.”He nodded with satisfaction.“It might be a good compromise.”
Leila knew it was unfair to be irked.Was she to simply be his consolation?
And that for only a year?She wanted so much more!
“Is Isobel wedded or does she have a handfast?”she asked, keeping her tone light.
“My father said the bishop wedded her to Stewart.”He met her gaze.“What difference?”
Leila resolved in that moment that she would be utterly honest with him, in all matters.To her thinking, that was the sole chance gaining the future she desired.“I thought you might hope for her return.”
His gaze hardened then, and she understood that Isobel had hurt his pride as well as his heart.“If so, it is of no import.Isobel has chosen to be my past.I ask you to be my future.”
His words sent a thrill through her, even though there was no passion in his tone.Still she had questions.“What if there is a child?”
“I will take full responsibility for him or her,” Fergus vowed.“Upon that you can rely.”
Leila folded her arms across her chest.“While I should be compelled to leave you, your home, and our child as an unchaste woman with neither kin nor allies?That will leave me with no prospects at all!”She shook her head.“Nay, that will not do.”
“It is not so different to your situation now.”
“I am a maiden.That is always of import.Is it not so here?”
“Not so much as you might think,” he said so earnestly that she believed him.“A handfast is an honorable arrangement, and if I am the one to introduce you to your future partner, there will be no stain upon your nature.It is like a marriage, but one of the highlands and not the church.”
“Is that what all the men who offer a handfast say to their intended?”she asked with a smile.
