“I would rather not, but I fear that Stewart may be insulted if I do otherwise.”
“I suspect he may be insulted either way,” Leila said, her manner pragmatic.“His wife is dead, after she fled to you.”
“And after I brought her a rich gift.”Fergus grimaced.“I should have taken your advice, Leila, and forgone the gift.I fear it encouraged Isobel to believe that more was possible between us than could be.I thought only to be kind, and to show her the respect to tell her of Kerr myself.He was under my protection, after all.”
Leila nodded.“You are kind, Fergus, but there are others who are not.I understand why you would take Lady Isobel home, but I fear for your reception.Will you take as many men as possible with you as escort?”
“You think Stewart will assault me?”Fergus considered what he knew of his neighbor and had to admit that it was a possibility.“I will take your advice this time, Leila, though I hope that you are mistaken.I will take Yvan and Murdoch with me, as well as Hamish.”
Leila’s lips thinned but she said no more.
“Tell me,” Fergus prompted.
“I know you think it prudent to show such courtesy to your former betrothed.”Leila’s dark eyes flashed.“But you cannot be surprised if there are those who imagine me to be your whore and little more.”
“What did Isobel say to you?”
“That a handfast suited a man’s convenience, just as I suspected.”Leila shook her head.“I am not certain that I can make a home here, Fergus, though perhaps I am simply tired in this moment.”She turned away and he sensed that she hid some detail from him.Then she spoke and he guessed that she was shy.“Perhaps you should stay in the hall this night.My courses have begun and I cannot welcome you abed.”
Fergus thought there was more to sharing a bed than the efforts to create a child, but bit back his words.He thought Leila looked smaller than was her wont.More fragile and in need of his protection.
“I am sorry.”
“As am I,” she said softly.
Had Leila found another man who could claim her heart?Fergus hoped it was not so, but he had noted how much time she spent with Murdoch.
Would she request a release from their handfast now that there was no chance of a child to bind them together?Fergus hoped not but he sensed her withdrawal and wished to speak to her.
Yet, he would not decline her request.
If she loved another, he would release her so that she could be happy.
Fergus was vexed that he had duties to attend the next day and resolved to do whatever was necessary to hear all of her doubts and fears upon his return.
“As you wish,” he ceded, hoping his agreement would please Leila but she gave no indication of her thoughts.“We will ride out before the dawn and return as quickly as possible.I pray it will be just after midday.”
Leila nodded, but her concern was clear.“Do you see the shadow yet?”
“I do,” Fergus admitted, though he did not tell her that it had become much darker.They would each keep their secrets, though he regretted the change.“But do not tell my father of it.I hope it will dissipate when Isobel is home forever.”
“As do I, Fergus,” Leila murmured.“As do I.”
He claimed her hand in his and kissed her fingertips, holding her gaze.“When I return, Leila, we must talk of our present and our future.You must tell me your hopes and fears, and I vow I will see that all evolves as you desire.”
She stared into his eyes for a long moment, but he could not guess her thoughts.“Aye, you will,” she agreed quietly.“For you are a man who keeps his vow, regardless of the cost.”
“Will you tell me about your home in Jerusalem?”Fergus asked, not wanting to be spent the night apart.Leila cast a glance at him that made her look vulnerable.“You never have.I did not wish to prompt sad memories, but I would like to hear of it.”
Leila considered this for a moment, then nodded.“If you desire, my lord.”
“I will come to you after I have arranged all for the morning.”
She shook her head with a resolve he recognized.“You will need your rest before you depart.I will tell you after you return.”
It was a rebuff and one that stung.
With a nod, Leila turned and left him there.Fergus watched her go, his gaze clinging to her small figure, unable to fight the sense that something precious slipped through his fingers.
