Prologue
2011
Vincent
“You can’t even do the damn dishes right,” Mother spat from the kitchen as I tried to tune her out from the couch. She knew I did my best, but of course that wasn’t enough. She stomped into the living room, and I knew, based on how loud the stomps were, that I was in for another lecture. I had tried explaining to my friends that the sound of someone walkingcanmake you want to hide. No one could believe it when you knew, based on the shutting of drawers or the gripping of a door handle, that you were in for suffering.
If I could sink into the cushions, I would. But I was stuck with my homework spread out on the coffee table. She stepped into my view, and I tensed.
“I work all day, and I expect to come home to a clean apartment. This is why your father left us. He couldn’t handle you. You ruined everything, just like you’re ruining this house. Look at this mess.” I followed the line of her thick finger to my boot that had fallen off the shoe stand when she slammed the door open earlier. It wouldn’t make a difference if I told her that. It was my fault no matter what.
“I’m sorry.”
“He’s sorry. Sorry doesn’t bring your father back. Sorry doesn’t change the fact that you were born sixteen years ago on this day. I don’t know why I take care of you. You’re not worth this stress.” She flapped her arms up, then stomped back to the kitchen, perhaps to eat the small birthday cupcake I hid behind the expired milk jug.
“Well, well. Someone like you who doesn’t take care of his home, doesn’t deserve cake.” I knew it. Somehow my mother always knew where my little dashes of happiness lay. Like a hunting dog with a scent of hope. That cupcake was a gift from the baker I delivered for on Fridays. It would be gone in seconds, and my head hung a little lower.
“I just wish your father was here to see how rotten you are. Maybe he could have changed our fate. Maybe we could have been a happy family who loved each other.” I did love her. And that’s what hurt the most. She was my mother. I knew she suffered from heartbreak, and if I could go back in time and stop Dad from leaving, I would.
I lifted my head and waited for her to walk into the room with blue frosting on her lips to brag about how good the cupcake was, only little orange flecks of light nearby caught my attention. I sat forward on the cushions to inspect them more closely as they suddenly multiplied.
“Shit.” I jumped back, knocking a lamp against the wall with another curse.
“What the hell are you doing now?” Mother shrieked, and my gut seized. The lights shot toward me and attached themselves to my skin.
“Help!” I screamed, and by the time Mother walked into the room, my whole body glittered with tiny sparkles. I tried to call for help again, but my sight turned white. My body hummed and shook, and I feared that if I had some sort of seizure, Mother would let me die and end her suffering.
Then everything stopped so suddenly that I had to catch my feet as I stumbled back. My eyes slowly adjusted to the blue sky that lacked the orange attackers.
“What the hell?” I glanced around and couldn’t believe my eyes. I wasn’t in our run-down apartment anymore. I stood in front of our old house. The tan, one-story home with a fenced-in yard and two trees out front. The one we lived in with my dad. My feet stayed glued to the chalk-covered sidewalk, as I couldn’t comprehend the sight. This house had been burned down two weeks after Dad left. Mother forgot she was cooking mac and cheese, and it happened so fast. We almost lost everything.
“Vincent! Watch those stairs!” A little kid around four with light brown hair pushed past the screen door, with a smile on his face. I nearly fell to my knees. Then a younger version of the woman I’d called Mother walked out with a tote bag hanging on her shoulder. She glanced at me once, nodded a hello, then followed her son in the direction of the park down the street.
This wasn’t possible. Maybe Mother had killed me and this was some sort of heaven. One where I was loved and cared for by the people who birthed me. I watched them walk away and didn’t know what to do. Should I talk to them? Do something? Stand here?
“You lost, kid?” a male voice called out from the house, and I lost it. Whatever dream this was, a son couldn’t hear his long-lost dad and keep his shit together. The same dad from the pictures I’d hidden from Mother stepped past the screen door.
I ran as fast as the tears that slid down my cheeks.
“Dad. You’re here, please don’t leave us. I’m sorry for whatever I did.” It all came out. Him leaving for whatever reason broke Mother. It broke me, and maybe this was a dream, but maybe I could do something about it.
“Listen, kid, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” His strong hands stopped me from wrapping my arms around him. His grip held firm, and my voice cracked with how real this felt.
“You can’t leave us. I know you’re planning it. Whatever your reasons are don’t matter. We need you. Mother will fall apart. I can’t do this anymore. Please, please don’t leave.” I glanced up his tall and broad body to see his downturned expression.
“Did Beatrice put you up to this?” His gaze darted down the street, and I shook my head.
“No. It’s Vincent. An older one. I don’t know what the hell is going on, but I wished I could come back and change things, and here I am. Maybe this is my chance. Maybe you can stay, and we can work it out. We can be a family that loves each other. That’s all we need, right?” I pleaded as my fingers dug into his forearms. I had to try. I couldn’t keep living like before.
“Alright, alright. Let’s get you something to drink. Calm the waterworks down, kid.” He released me and pressed a hand on my shoulder to guide me inside. I smiled despite the tears. This could work!
Then they came. Those devilish orange flecks of light.
“No, no, no!” I stumbled into an end table and knocked a vase to the ground.
“Kid, are you on something?” My dad stepped forward, and I rushed to him immediately. The flecks brought me here, and they would take me away.
“No. Shit. I’m leaving. But you shouldn’t. I’ll see you in the future. Please stay,” I begged as the little lights covered me once again. Expecting the blindness to come, I closed my eyes and prayed. Once the shaking and humming stopped, I eagerly opened my eyes in hope.
