Chapter Eighteen
Mia
Logan: Still alive?
Mia: Yes. Last night was so much fun. Today’s gonna suck, but I feel okay about it.
Logan: Good. Don’t forget to eat and drink. Remember, you are strong and capable of accomplishing anything you set your mind to.
Mia: Do you get all your quotes from an inspirational calendar, Yoda?
Logan: Celestial Seasonings tea boxes actually. This morning was, “Cinderella was proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life.” *currently shopping for shoes*
Mia: *And by shoes, Yoda means sandals.*
Logan: Dis not the sandals you do.
Mia: Can’t believe I hired you.
Logan: Best choice you ever made.
Mia: Best choice I ever made.
The smile from my conversation with Logan earlier lasted throughout the whole day. Even after sitting while my New York general manager interviewed possible candidates for the new position of executive assistant manager.
Two applicants with the best background experience seemed like the best options and would do the job required. Natalie, the GM, seemed to agree. Another interview would be scheduled, and we’d go from there. Things moved fast in my business. There was no time to waste when work was piling up.
Jay and I were on my jet before nightfall, and I was honestly feeling great. Like maybe life was going to be okay. My first week with Logan would be done as of tomorrow, so after only five more weeks, supposedly, I would be back to taking over the world and feeling inspired by the end. Truthfully, I did see how that was possible. I’d learned so much in this first week that I had faith the next few would change me forever.
By the time Jay and I got back to the hotel in Tampa. I was tired and ready to do that relaxing I’d desired yesterday.
I had e-mails to check and a few phone calls to make now that I was back at my home base. Even though the tasks were monotonous, I got everything done and still felt okay. Not burned out, not sad. I did my job and survived without going down the dark rabbit hole of my mind. Even did a twenty-minute wind-down from the yoga video on Lindsey’s website. She was wonderful, and I hoped she took me up on my offer to teach some classes at my Tampa hotel a few times a week. I wanted to do yoga more often, so I was making an effort to do so after feeling mentally better after the one with her and Logan.
With my mind cleared and my body feeling looser, I put my dirty clothes from the trip in my hamper and took a hot shower. Really focusing on the feel of my body and the droplets cascading down my skin. Trying to be present in this moment instead of letting my mind wander, as it liked to do.
I wanted more days like this. Working and just an hour or so to focus on myself. This was something I felt I could accomplish. Hell, even just that twenty minutes of yoga or relaxing in the shower was enough.
My bed was cozy and called to me, as did the book I had waiting for me on the nightstand. I’d set it there, hoping I’d glance at it before bed, but that was unfortunately weeks ago. Better late than never, right?
***
It was just getting to a good fight scene in the book I was reading when my phone beeped, alerting me that a text was waiting. Maybe Logan was checking in to see how I was doing. I’d sent him a text earlier to let him know I was back and was ready for more life coaching or whatever he had planned.
This text was from my sister though.
Gia: I wanted to show you this before you heard it from anyone else.
Under those words, there was a photo downloading. A nervous feeling settled beneath my skin, and my stomach started to feel heavy. That feeling of foreshadowing, that something bad was about to happen, crept up my spine, tensing my muscles and making my fingers shake, as I waited for the photo to show up.
As soon as it popped up, that heavy feeling in my stomach dropped, like the sensation of a roller coaster diving down. Tears didn’t even threaten to cascade down my cheeks. They assaulted me without warning. I struggled for breath, and my chest tightened as my lungs refused to take in more oxygen.
I knew I shouldn’t feel this way, but it didn’t make the sudden onslaught of emotions any easier to deal with.
There HE was. Wallace. Black hair perfectly gelled, brown eyes bright as they gazed lovingly at the blonde-haired woman with the pregnant belly in his arms. Their smiles matching with complete happiness for the little bundle of love they’d created.
I had known Wallace and Hollis had gotten married. I had even been nice and sent them a bottle of wine to show I was the bigger person. But this? This hit me on some level I hadn’t even known was possible. That was supposed to be me. Pregnant, looking up at the man I loved and who loved me back with a baby kicking me in the intestines. At least I wasn’t married to a cheater anymore, but maybe he wasn’t cheating on her. Maybe he had found his true love after all and didn’t need to find any other vagina to fall into.
Maybe it was just me.
I was the problem.
I set the phone back on the nightstand. My fingers grabbed Baymax, my personal healthcare stuffed companion, and I followed my dark thoughts without abandon down the rabbit hole.
