Chapter Ten
Logan
I took clients places to help get them out of their shells all the time. They had me, which was comfortable, and familiar in new settings. There was trust in signing the documents for Inspired—that I was going to take care of them, keep them safe. So, when we did something out of the norm, they would look to me before jumping. It always worked in step one, and they felt like this program would actually help them. That confidence, that taste of something different, would stir that motivation in clients to be themselves.
But, this time, something felt different.
I watched as Mia let go, as she closed her eyes and stopped caring about what those around her thought. What they thought she should or shouldn’t do and just simply did. Only thing I could think to equate watching her free herself was if I was watching her fall apart from an orgasm. She just opened herself up and fell apart in happiness.
Nothing—and I repeat,nothing—was sexier to a man than watching a woman have confidence in herself and do what she wanted for own purpose. If a woman wanted to seduce her man and wanted to be attractive in his eyes, then all she really needed was to feel attractive to herself. That was a huge issue with women.
Mia was sexy as fuck right now, and I wanted nothing more than to help her fall apart further, to let go of everything she was holding on to. I would beg the devil himself and trade my soul for one chance to look into her eyes as I brought her over to rapture, feeling her detonate around me, beneath me.
“I’m going to take a walk. Phone call.” I grabbed my phone, needing an escape from this beautiful woman before I did something stupid and wrapped my hands around her swaying hips, bringing her flush against my body.
She nodded and kept dancing.
I was glad her eyes were closed, so she couldn’t see the tortured look on my face as I watched her move like that, so freely.
I didn’t walk far from her. I needed to keep an eye on her form, no matter what. But I needed that space to cool my thoughts. She was my client. This was not a date. This was all part of the Inspired process. There was no way in hell I could get caught up sexually with Mia. Disaster was written all over that deal. Mia needed to be completely self-reliant after our six weeks were over. That was the whole point. I’d help her get over the large humps, and she could take it from there once she felt better. She didn’t need a man, and I didn’t want her to need one.
People really didn’t need another human to make themselves happy. Happiness came from within. Sexual enjoyment was great, but it came with complications. I lived a complication-free lifestyle.
So, no, I would not be selling my soul like I’d wanted, so I could have Mia fall apart beneath me.
I kept talking to myself, giving myself a talking-to like Callum or Tate would, saying that my thoughts were not a good idea. After a few minutes, I felt in control of my mind and body again, and I walked back over to Mia as she decided to take a break and guzzle her water like she hadn’t drunk in years.
“How are you feeling?” I tossed my phone into the bag and sat down just as she did.
“I feel oddly free,” she admitted before drinking more of her water.
Good. Water was good. Feeling free was good.
“Great. You might not see it, but you’re not as bad off as you think you are.”
Her head turned toward mine, and she looked at me with an eyebrow raised. Unwilling to believe what I’d said was true. She was lost, no doubt about that. But she still got out of bed every morning, and she saw life and beauty. But, for some reason, we’d yet to figure out why she was standing on the sidelines, watching life go by instead of living it.
“For one, I have had clients who were afraid to leave their homes. Or just didn’t want to. Even though you’re feeling lost, you’re still out, sailing the seas every day, searching for a better life. A lot of people won’t even step one foot on the boat.”
That seemed to register something in her. Those gray eyes stared at me, her lips parted, and the sip of water she was about to take was forgotten.
“I’ve never thought of it that way. It doesn’t feel like I’m doing anything anymore. Only reason I get out of bed is because I have responsibilities to take care of.” She was trying to downplay this, and that was part of the issues right now with her.
“For some—and I saw it back when I was a counselor too—they don’t let responsibility stop them from staying in bed and wanting to give up on life. Children go hungry and have to take care of themselves because Mom won’t. Dad does nothing but sit on the couch, drinking until he passes out. You are out, taking care of shit, breathing, and trying to make the most of how you feel. It might not seem like some grand accomplishment compared to acquiring a new hotel, but it’s just as important. The simple act of continuing when you feel like giving up is the bravest thing anyone can do. You are amazing.”
She really was. She was smart, beautiful, and brave.
“The fact that you recognized you needed help and asked for it is a huge step! Be proud of yourself, Mia. You are so much stronger than you feel.” I looked away to the people dancing to the drums in front of us, needing to gain space from her penetrating gaze.
It shouldn’t be hard to digest all the good things around you, but at low points in our lives, we forgot how far we’d come and only focused on how much more we had to do.
She stayed silent, hopefully taking in my words and letting them settle deep in her soul. She was doing great, and hopefully, holding the mirror up to her would help her see it. After a few minutes of the drums and waves echoing around us, I changed the subject.
“Now that you’re all loosened up, I want to talk about the list you made last night. What are some of the things you loved to do?”
I doubted there was anything on her list that I couldn’t help inspire her with, but who knew? Mia was sure to be the person to surprise me the most out of all my past clients.
Her bottom lip was nervously pulled between her teeth as she peered up from beneath those long eyelashes, and I found myself slightly leaning in. Eager to hear little morsels of what this woman liked to do.
