“He’s in sepsis shock. His body is shutting down, unable to handle the amount of toxins flowing in his system. They’re trying to do everything they can. Even Dorian, Esme’s husband, is on the case. He is the best doctor in the world.” Phillip was trying to help ease my mind, but it wasn’t working. They weren’t doing enough.
“Esme!” I felt like the answer to my prayers was here.
“No, Gwendolyn. I’ve seen it, if she helps him. She dies. She can’t do as you want.” He shook his head.
I understood his words, and I knew he was right, but there had to be something. I couldn’t lose him. I just.
I just couldn’t lose him.
“He left this for you.” Phillip reached for an ivory envelope next to Arthur’s glasses.
With shaky hands, my fingers grasped the envelope, and I opened it, tears dropping onto the paper.
Chapter Forty
Gwendolyn
My Muse,
My Love,
When I came back from death, I vowed that I would live life to be happy. I gave up what I thought was my world and gave in to the true me.
I was happy. I created beauty in a world that needed a spark of light in life.
Then I saw my muse, my very existence in human form. A goddess running with her mythical dragon in the park. Her hair was white, just like the snowy scene around her, and those blue eyes that I could see from afar captured my soul and never let me have it back.
She didn’t know I existed, or that she owned my soul with one glance, my heart beating in another chest.
I would climb every mountain, swim every ocean, and cross infinite deserts to be with her. The woman whose heart spoke my own’s language.
I’m sorry our time was short, but I would do everything just as it was because I got you. I held you in my arms, touched your soft skin, and tasted the love on your lips. I’d die a million times over just to spend a moment with you.
I spent so much time wishing to have a life with you, like wishing for rain while standing in the desert.
Marriage, kids, being there to help raise Emily with you…All part of my plans.
I wish I could take back the pain in your heart as you read this. But I don’t regret what I did. I was the hero that you needed, the one you’d never ask for. The man willing to fight for mankind. The same hero that stayed behind when all seemed lost, the same hero that died for you.
You can live and be the woman the world needs you to be. They need you so much more than me. I wanted to keep you for myself, but I couldn’t. I’m sorry I couldn’t. Life around us would have fallen apart, and I would have known I was a coward that didn’t give everything I could to make the world a better place for you. For Emily. For Lynn. And the Hero Society. For every living being on our planet.
I love you enough to let you live life to the fullest, even if it’s not with me.
You are amazing, beautiful, and the smartest woman I know. If anyone can take my sacrifice and turn it into something beautiful, it’s you. A muse, the color for a blank canvas.
Forgive me for not telling you—I didn’t want to spend my final moments without your smiles.
At least I got to experience heaven on earth while I held you in my arms; I’m sure the real thing will hold me over until I see you again.
I love you, Gwendolyn.
Arthur.
I don’t remember the minutes after reading his letter to me. My mind shut down, and I collapsed against his still body. There were no cries of pain for the heart that shattered, the tortured silence could be heard bouncing against the white walls of the hospital.
I just remember staring at a painting of a heart with a pink flower inside it, with the word “hope” written in script beneath it.
Hope was a double-edged sword that sliced through the hearts of one while giving extended beats to the masses.
