I sat there for hours. Time was of little importance right now. So, I waited for an opening in the clouds, wishing I didn’t know why I was there.
Truth was, I missed her, and looking at the stars was as close as I could get to her.
“I bet you’re laughing at me now.” I spoke to the wind as if it would carry my words to wherever she was. She liked watching me suffer in a non-dying way. Teasing me, showing me her backbone, and defying me.
“I could use your banter as a distraction.” I laughed thinking about the bantering back and forth we did. That attitude.
“I could use some of your other special abilities now too,” I mumbled, wanting to run my fingers through that thick hair of hers and then caress her creamy skin. The more I thought of her, the more I began to hurt.
I’d grown to care for her, that I knew.
The moment I hesitated in giving her that necklace I’d bought for her, I knew there was more than just a sexual attraction. I’d been in denial.
“It wasn’t love. But it was something. You were something.”
My head went down a dream that had never even been in the realm of possibilities. I’d fallen for Esme and could keep her. There was no Hero Society, there was no revenge in my veins. Just us. Fuck knew where that dream would have gone, but when that opening I’d been waiting for in the clouds appeared, I took the opportunity and wished on a star for what could have been.
“At least now you won’t have to choose between your friends and me. You would have hated me no matter what. It’s better this way.”
I stood and felt my soul ache.
I was glad Esme was gone. She’d died with love in her heart for me, instead of dying from my hate.
“Goodbye, Esme,” I said to the stars, just as the clouds covered up that gap.
They were all right—I didn’t deserve her, but at least she didn’t know that before she died, despite me telling it to her. She had hope, a false hope, but hope in us, nonetheless.
Leaving the roof, I went back to my room to train. It was the only solace I had left, until the heroes fell. Then, and only then, would I finally find peace in this hell.
