Prologue
Esme
2007
“Please, Eli, let me heal you,” I begged, my eyes unable to cry the tears I wanted to shed.
My twin brother shook his head, tubes and wires attached everywhere on his body as he lay in the hospital bed.
“No.” His voice was low, but it still held that same annoying brother tone he always used when he was not budging on an issue.
“I don’t care about me—I’d rather live a shorter life with you being my brother than be without you.”
We’d had this conversation over and over since he became sick. I had the ability to heal him, so he wouldn’t die from the leukemia that was eating away at his body. We’d been through this before over the years, but this time there was no coming back.
My fraternal twin, with the same reddish-brown hair and hazel-green eyes as me, was going to die soon. Maybe today, maybe tomorrow, maybe over the upcoming weekend. The fact was I was going to lose him, and even though I could save him, he wouldn’t let me. And if I did it without his permission, he would never forgive me.
His weak fingers gripped my arm that rested on his, rubbing slightly over the faint gold line that ran over my vein. My lifeline.
“You’re worth it.” I wanted to cry, I wanted to throw things, I just wanted him to not choose death.
“You’re going to live the life I never could. You’re going to fall in love, and it’ll be the type of love that you’ve always dreamed of—the love that legends are made of. You’re going to do so many great things in your life, Esme, and if I let you heal me, I could be taking that away from you. My fate was sealed a long time ago. You still have control over your destiny.”
I heard his words, but I still was in denial.
“Just tell my future nieces about their uncle, Eli, and how cool he was, okay?” He laughed, and it was my turn to shake my head…this was Eli, always trying to be the light in any darkness.
“I’m going to tell them about that one time when we were at the pool and you decided it would be funny to jump from the diving board and pull your pants down, showing everyone your junk.” We were both laughing then, even though his eyes started to glisten with emotion.
“Be good to Mom and Dad, too,” he directed, and I nodded. Mom and Dad had been going through a divorce when leukemia decided it was going to take Eli. They’d been having a hard time before, and now they were both struggling to hold on at all.
“You gotta find Lola and play fetch with her until I get there, all right?”
Our family dog had died last year, and I prayed that dog heaven and people heaven met so they could be together until we were able to join him.
He nodded, and the tears started to roll down his cheeks.
“Hey, you’re my tough big brother. You’re not supposed to be the one to cry,” I choked out, and he snorted.
“Two minutes older and suddenly I’m the responsible one.”
“You’ve always been the responsible one,” I reminded him. His grip pulled me closer, and I knew what he wanted.
We’ve always had that connection that twins do. What he felt, I felt—and right now he was scared.
I crawled into the small space next to his body on the bed, and he wrapped his arm around my shoulder, the other reaching to hold my hand.
“I’m choosing to let you live, Esme.” His voice broke, barely holding onto his emotions.
“You’ve been with me since the beginning, brother, and you’ll be with me till the end,” I whispered to his chest, knowing by the bond between us that his thread was about to be cut.
“Always with you, till the very end, Esme. Live hard, love strong, and when you’re feeling lost, I’ll be your light when the darkness comes.” His breath was soft, and then I felt it.
The bond was shattered, and my brother sighed, his arm falling from my shoulder.
To have the power to heal, only to draw nearer to death with every use: a curse, not a gift, if I couldn’t even save the ones I loved the most.
