Chapter Thirty-Four
Alessandra
“Holy shit!” Jenson cursed from the living room, holding up two laminated cards in his hands.
“Mouth!” This kid. I walked over to look at them and saw Comic-Con passes for the whole week.
Joel.
“Can we go?” He looked at me with stars in his eyes.
I wanted to say no, because the chances of running into Joel was high and I couldn’t promise that I wouldn’t maim him in some way. I was running on high fury when it came to him, after finding out about him playing stalker after the bar incident to get me the job. I wasn’t hired because of my skill as a makeup artist; I was hired because he wanted me to be there. They trusted him and then just happened to like my work, after the fact.
“Fine,” I told Jenson, and he ran off to his room so he could tell all his friends that he was going to the highly sought-after convention.
I plopped on the couch and listened to his happiness at having those passes in his possession. Jenson’s happiness is what matters. I’d be happy another time.
Although he wasn’t happy seeing me unhappy, and he thought I should talk to Joel—which I wasn’t going to do—he dropped it, and was hanging closer to me, more than normal. I guessed he was either trying to comfort me or making sure I didn’t curl up in a ball in the apartment.
I would be all right. I survived one asshole, and I sure as hell would survive another.
Except those memories of sleeping in Joel’s arms in the hammock, or him dancing over me like a goof, would pop into my head in attempt to make me smile. And I didn’t want to.
He always knew how to make me smile, to make me feel like a teenager again. Carefree, and in love.
I was still in love with him. But with time, that would fade too. At least that was my hope. I’d given the whole dating thing a try, and it didn’t work out. Time to wait another thirteen years, and collect a bunch of animals. Jenson would leave me for college, and I’d become that loco lady everyone expected me to be.
Right now, it was a future that looked more appetizing than falling in love again.
The two weeks that led up to the convention were like a ticking time bomb on my schedule. I’d been hired to do contract jobs for weddings and photo shoots, and a festival booked for the fall. So things were slowly looking up for me.
I didn’t need Joel Kline to get me jobs on the movie set. I had done them before, and I would keep earning my way.
Jenson and I spent the week in San Diego for the convention. He wanted to dress up as his favorite character, but because it was Joel’s character he changed his mind and went for his second favorite character. I helped make his costume and did all his makeup. He looked great. I dressed up as Harley Quinn, and not the super slutty version. But I still rocked it. With my face painted up and the jester hat, plus a sea of people, Joel wouldn’t find me.
But we were like magnets, always getting within range to make eye contact. He was dressed as the Joker. How fitting.
“Sexiest Harley Quinn in the building.” He found me as I waited for Jenson to get his picture taken with an actor from the newest Star Wars film.
I wasn’t ready for him, yet. I was still hurting, and angry. So I didn’t acknowledge his existence next to me.
“I know you don’t want me around, or wanna hear my words. But I’m gonna say this, and then I’ll leave you alone for the rest of the week.” He stepped into my view, and even all dressed up like a villain, I saw the sweet Joel in his eyes. The one that broke down my walls.
“I never cheated on you. I was upset about how hard things were for you and Jenson, so I took a walk and went to the store to get bananas. Clara, the blonde you saw online, introduced herself to me there. She wanted to see if I would be interested in helping her hospital with a big fundraiser for kids and their families. I walked her to her car, and she gave me her card. I did hug her. That was it. You are my fucking world, and I know you think it’s over for us, Alessandra. But it’s not. I’m not going to give up or go anywhere, until you are in my arms where you belong.”
He finished what he had to say and left me standing there, taking in everything he had said but not truly processing it. Jenson was still in line, so I walked around within eyesight to distract myself from Joel’s long statement. After we were finally pooped from the day, we crashed in the hotel room, and I was too tired to think over my intense encounter with Joel.
We had a different outfit everyday of the week, and beyond that first day seeing Joel, he was fairly unreachable the rest of the time. Between panels, and photo shoots, he was a busy boy. I was still in denial about what he said and decided I wouldn’t think about it until I got home and had no distractions around.
Or so I thought.
Turns out I was unable to fight the fact that I was a completely crazy bitch, and ruined a relationship with someone who had been real with me, for a whole week.
Alex’s words had started to suck me in like quicksand and I couldn’t get out of it. He had scarred my heart so badly that I was starting to understand that I had been looking for an out with Joel. Still not believing that someone, especially an actor, would stick with me.
No wonder I had been single since Jenson had been born. I sucked at dating.
I should have believed him, and let him explain his side of things. Cooled my jets enough, but when he suggested we lay low, I panicked. I couldn’t handle being left again, so I left first. Dramatically.
