I turned and grabbed my phone from its charger in the front. I pulled up YouTube and typed in the song to hear what she deemed our theme song.
When the lyrics started to ring true to my heart, I knew she nailed it. I wanted many long drives with her; I wanted her as my copilot forever. When the song was over, I wanted to ask her for her address in Florida, so I could meet her there and tell her we’d make it work.
But that was selfish. She had her family to think about, and her whole life that she didn’t think about during her time with me.
Instead of texting her my love like I had planned before listening to her song, I chose something else. A theme song of my own. One that told her everything I hoped for her in her life, and I prayed it would help those tears that were caused by her pain of leaving ease.
My Wish by Rascal Flatts. – Killian
I threw my phone on my bunk and knew the only thing that was going to help the pain was getting back to work. So that’s what I did. I sat my ass down in the seat, and put my rig into gear, leaving D.C. and the only love I’ve ever known behind me. I wish someone would have warned me that love could hurt like this. But even then, I would have still chosen to feel its bitter sting, than to never have experienced her at all.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Livia
“So let me get this straight: You paid a trucker to let you tag along around the U.S., let him screw you mindless, fell in love with the bastard, then he all but made you leave so you could be with your family?” My friend Kate sat across from me in her office. Despite not wanting to be on the road again, seeing truckers everywhere and looking for him, I had to see my friends.
Kate Stewart and Meghan Quinn, authors extraordinaire, and two really good friends. We met at a book signing in Orlando, and clicked right away. Our love of books sealed the deal. I didn’t talk to them as much as I wished I could, but when I asked if we could all get together, they made it happen. So here I was, sitting with them in South Carolina at Kate’s house.
“Yeah, pretty much.” I’d been having a really hard time since I left Killian three weeks ago.
“Your dad’s doing better?” Meghan, my blonde friend, asked, and I nodded.
“Yeah, he’s home and on a diet. Which he isn’t too happy about, but he has to clean it up.” When they told him he needed to cut out the red meat, I thought he was about to have another heart attack. Mom hugged me so tight when she saw me, and I’d been there for them since. Until today, when I drove here.
“So back to the part where you fell in love and got fucked by a trucker.” My red-headed friend Kate couldn’t keep quiet about that. Neither of these women had a filter; it was one of the things I liked the most about them. They always kept it real with me.
“Then we parted ways, and he sent me a song. His final farewell. I haven’t talked to him since.” I was too afraid to call or text.
“Gotcha. So why aren’t you hunting his ass down?” Meghan inquired, and Kate agreed with her question. That was the question, wasn’t it? Dad was fine, Mom was fine. So why wasn’t I trying to find Killian?
I groaned and stretched back on the carpet, my hands over my face.
“I don’t know.”
“Why don’t you know, baby?” Kate was serious right now.
“My whole crazy trip was supposed to help me figure out my life, and all it did was complicate things more. He’s probably long gone on the road now. Shit, I just feel so lost. I want to be with him, but I still don’t even know what I want for myself.” I sat back up and looked at the girls. They were watching me with uninterrupted attention, waiting for me to continue.
“After Julian died, I felt so low. Then there was everything that happened with Lane and that bastard friend of his. I sold my business, not feeling like I fit in it anymore. I guess I could just take time and do nothing. I have the money from the business, but that will eventually run out.” I took a deep breath and kept going, more for myself rather than them.
“How can I give him all of me, when I feel so incomplete?” It was the honest truth.
“Oh, baby. You’re not incomplete. If anything, that man helped heal you up. I mean, you should have seen your face when you were telling us about your wild trip.” Kate smiled and held out her arms for a hug. Meghan joined in seconds later.
“What do you want, Liv?” Meghan pulled back first, and uttered her question.
What did I want?
“I want to figure out what to do with my life. I need a passion. Or a hobby. I want to move out of my parents’ house. I want a sign from the gods, telling me what to do.” How was that for an answer? Both the women looked at each other, a silent conversation going on between them.
“Meghan and I always thought that your skills in graphic design were awesome. Those teasers you did for me, and that cover you did, were great. Maybe you should give that a try again.” Graphic design for the book world. It was something I dabbled in briefly, but Lane shut it down as a hobby because it took time away from him. I did enjoy it, especially when I got to sketch on the computer.
“Yeah, they were boobtastic!” Meghan smiled, and I couldn’t help but laugh at her use of the word boob. She had a thing about boobs.
“As far as your parents’ house—move. Go shack up with a sexy trucker, and ride off into the sunset in his beastly truck.” It sounded so simple.
“Thanks, guys.” We all stood just in time for Kate’s husband to yell out that dinner was here.
