“No.” She opened her mouth, and little flakes of snow melted as soon as they made contact with her tongue. I looked around and saw that the very few people who were on the deck with us were heading back inside to get out of the snow. Not my Livia. She simply rejoiced in the moment. Whether she was like this before her trip or not, this was who she was now.
Her head dropped back down to its normal position, and then she turned around in my arms, peaking my curiosity of what she was thinking.
“‘Falling For You′ by Colbie Caillat.” Her eyes were watching mine for any sign that what she said got to me. It did, and I didn’t know what to think about it.
“You don’t have to say anything. You’re just making it hard not to.” She untangled herself from my grip, and walked along the sides of the deck, checking everything out like she didn’t just drop something on me. I hadn’t heard the song, but the title said plenty. I made a mental note to listen to the song later when she fell asleep. She was falling for me? Me? Grumpy-ass, broken, ex-military, truck driver me? It was inconceivable.
Pushing it from my mind for now, I followed Livia around while her snowflake-covered hair bobbed around the whole deck.
When the cold became too much, and our time was up for the night, we took a taxi back to the hotel room, and Livia started us a shower. When she hopped in, I decided to listen to that song.
Once again, I was blown away by her choice. What the hell was I going to do now? I didn’t even know my own feelings for her at the moment. I still had to let her go in the end, but did this change things?
“Hey, you coming?” she called out to me, and my feet were moving before I had the thought to do so.
Her soapy hands were running over her body slowly as the water’s spray washed it away shortly after each caress. All the questions in my head a minute earlier vanished. Right here, right now, was what mattered. I’d face the rest sooner or later.
“Thought I lost ya there.” She watched me from the half-closed shower curtain as I pulled my shirt over my head, and shucked my jeans off.
“Commando,” she purred, while looking straight at my growing dick.
She took a step back as I stepped into the shower. It was a normal shower and tub combo, so not a ton of space for two, but we would work it out. She reached up to move the shower nozzle and pointed it more towards me, the hot water feeling wonderful on my cold skin. She didn’t say anything as she lathered her hands with some more soap and started to wash me, spending the bulk of her attention on my abs.
“Never did I think of a trucker and abs like this in the same thought,” she said out loud, probably not meaning to. It was true, staying as fit as I did took serious dedication. I ran, did yoga, worked out, and ate healthy. Most people on the road didn’t stick to that routine. It was hard, to say the least.
She struggled to reach my hair, so I bent down to give her access to run her fingers through it, something I found that I truly enjoyed.
When she was done rubbing me down, I washed off the suds and my eyes collided with hers. So much emotion filled them, it was impossible to look away.
Right then I knew the answer to my questions.
When I first looked into those unique eyes of hers, I saw outer space in them.
They did hold secrets, secrets I now knew.
They did hold knowledge, knowledge she’d shared with me that I’d longed to know.
She was no longer untouchable. I’d held her in my arms; I’d kissed every part of her body, and her soul.
She was falling, and I’d been thrown into the water without a lifesaver. I’d been a goner for her the moment I looked into those eyes. I’d fought it, denied it, and even tried to stop it. But it was past that point. I had fallen for the girl before me, and the answer to my question was simple.
No, nothing had changed. I loved her enough to let her go and find a life she could be happy about. I wasn’t made to be still, and I couldn’t give her the white-picket-fence life that she deserved.
But I loved her enough to give her now. To show her with my body that I’d fallen hopelessly for her rays of sunshine that had chased away the dark clouds in my life. I was free, and it was because of her that I could breathe without drowning.
There were no words to be said right now. She’d asked for them before, but right now actions were going to speak louder than anything I could say. Right now I was going to worship her body, embrace her soul, and gaze upon her heart.
We touched, we kissed, and we found our moment in right now.
I picked her up and exited the shower, and once I dried her and myself thoroughly, I carried her to the bed. It was time I gave my woman a proper lovemaking. Her lips were pressing gentle kisses to my chest as I laid her across the bed, her blonde hair wild and covering the white pillows like a beautiful star. She kept her arms around my neck, which was fine with me. I wanted to be as close to her body as I could be.
My hard covered her soft, and her whimpers were the only sounds in the room as I slid home. Inside her was my home, where I belonged in life. Didn’t matter where I was, being connected to her is what kept me grounded to the world. Our chests slid against each other from the dampness of the shower, her legs wrapped around my ass keeping me rooted in where we both wanted me to be. With hard, slow thrusts, over and over, we spoke with our lovemaking and not our words. But so much was understood with every touch, and when both our cries of rapture overtook us, I rolled off her, held her in my arms, and tried to pour into her how I felt from that embrace.
Just as her breathing calmed and her light snores filled the air, I said what was truly haunting my soul.
“I love you enough to let you go in the end, but for now, I’ll keep you.” I kissed her forehead and followed her into sleep.
Chapter Twenty-Six
