‘You can’t blame her for worrying after what happened. From what you’ve told me, she and your dad adored each other.’
‘Dad devoted himself to her. He was so patient. Mum’s acting career always came first and Dad was very open about that, but for me to expect to find someone just like him… I’ve finally realised that’s totally unrealistic.’
‘So you’re prepared to settle for someone who isn’t very patient, from what you’ve told me, definitely isn’t open and…’
‘Doescare about me,’ Jules protested. ‘When you came back to pick up your things you saw how he was with me. He treats me like a princess. You said yourself that he was charming.’
‘Yes, I did, didn’t I?’ Carrie replied. ‘The trouble is, Jules, charmers aren’t always to be trusted.’
Jules felt the beginnings of a headache. Why did Carrie have to be like this? Why couldn’t she be more supportive? She was thrilled that Carrie had met Guy and found real happiness after that nightmare of an ex-fiancé and the trauma over her job. Surely the least Carrie could do would be to feel the same way about her relationship with Gavin.
‘I don’t want to argue about this anymore,’ Jules said, beginning to feel as frayed as the edge of the old sofa in the living room. ‘He’s the one, Carrie. I know it and if you can’t accept that, then…’
She shrugged even though she knew Carrie couldn’t see. Tears were pricking at her eyes and she never cried. Never. Ever. Prided herself on her stoicism. The other midwives shed tears when a birth went wrong, as it sometimes did, but not her. She was the one who held them all together.
‘…it’s not exactly as if we’re going to be seeing a lot of each other going forwards with you on the Isle of Wight and me in Manchester.’
Carrie was quiet for a second or two and Jules inwardly cursed herself.
‘What are you trying to say, Jules?”
‘Maybe we ought to stop speaking as often.’
‘If that’s what you want.’
There was a tightness in her chest. She put her palm against her heart, which was beating faster than usual.
‘It is. I’m really busy with work for the next couple of weeks anyway.’
‘Okay,’ Carrie said, her hurt travelling across the miles to Manchester.
And the call had ended there with the most cursory of goodbyes. It felt like the end of something, and Carrie hadn’t really put up much of a fight, had she? Some friend she was.
Jules stood still for a minute, the phone still clutched in her hand. The brief euphoria she’d felt at making such a positive decision was disappointingly short-lived. Then she’d felt sick and shaky and angry. She lifted her arm and hurled the phone through the air. She was aiming for a cushion on the sofa, but it had bounced off and hit the metal edge of the hateful coffee table, which always scraped your shins if you misjudged the amount of space you needed to edge around it. Jules winced as she heard the screen crack a split second before the phone landed face down on the floor. When she tried to pick it up, little shards of glass dropped out onto the beige twist pile carpet and finally she burst into tears.
That was two weeks ago, and she hadn’t heard from Carrie since, not an apologetic text or a conciliatory email. She couldhave initiated contact herself, of course, could have been the one to make amends, but why should she? Did Carrie feel the gaping hole that was left, the grief? Obviously not. If only Carrie had kept her thoughts to herself. Then, when she had got to know Gavin better, she would have realised that she didn’t have anything to worry about. Gavin was solid. And Jules needed to concentrate on him now. Think about the future. A future with Gavin. He was what mattered more than anything else.
Gavin stood up and pulled her into his arms.
‘I love you,’ she murmured into his chest, feeling the beating of his heart, the heart that was entwined with hers.
‘And I lo… Ouch!’ he said, wriggling from her grasp and hopping about on one foot.
‘What? What is it?’ she said.
He flumped back onto the sofa and examined his sole.
‘There’s still glass down here,’ he said, picking out a shard from the fleshy base of his big toe. Jules blinked. She loved everything about Gavin, but his toes really weren’t his best feature.
‘You haven’t cleared it up properly.’
‘Sorry, sorry, I thought I had. A piece must have got embedded in the carpet.’
‘More than one,’ he said, picking at his heel which really needed some cream on it. She must offer to massage his feet later. He liked that.
‘You really should have been more careful, Jules.’
Jules flinched and closed her eyes for a moment. Her lip was beginning to throb.
