‘No need to. I’m going to meditate, and you can sit here and soak up the beauty of this place. It’s very healing.’
‘You said that about the cottage.’
‘Because it’s true.’
‘I haven’t felt it yet.’
‘You think you haven’t felt it yet.’
Jules looked up at her.
‘What does that mean?’
‘You don’t want to know.’
‘Yes, I do.’
Carrie twisted her lips and came and sat cross-legged on the grass in front of Jules.
‘Okay,’ she said, slowly. ‘Stop feeling sorry for yourself for a moment and listen. Really listen.’
‘I think I’m entitled to feel sorry for myself.’
‘Yes, you are, but there comes a time when you have to move forwards.’
‘Maybe I’m not ready for that yet.’
Carrie swivelled on to her knees, wincing as coffee slopped over her ankle.
‘No,’ she said, ‘maybe you’re not.’
‘But you might as well spit it out anyway,’ Jules said, ‘instead of keeping it bottled up. I know what you thought of Gavin and, let’s face it, you were right.’
‘I didn’t want to be proved right,’ Carrie said, softly. ‘God, Jules, I care about you. I didn’t want to see him making you unhappy.’
‘I don’t think I’m destined for happiness. Not romantically anyway.’
A tear dropped into her coffee.
Carrie took the cup from her hands and put it down on the grass before sitting next to her.
‘Jules, give yourself a break, will you? I can’t bear to see you like this. Youarea strong person.’
‘No, no, I’m not. Everyone thinks that, but I’ve just been pretending all this time.’
‘Actually, I don’t think that’s true. It’s just what your brain is telling you at the moment because it’s scrambled.’
Carrie handed Jules a tissue.
‘I’ve got one. Tasha says to never go anywhere without a tissue.’
‘Well, she’s right.’
Carrie clasped Jules’s hands.
‘Just tell me, why are you crying?’
‘What sort of a stupid question is that?’ Jules sniffed.
