‘It’s what she would have wanted.’
‘But from what you’ve said, she’d have wanted you to keep the pottery going, too.’
‘Yes,’ he said slowly. ‘I think she would, although it was more my dream than hers. She was very supportive even though her parents were horrified. I think they blame me a little for what happened.’
‘How?’
‘Stress. They believe the stress of running the pottery caused the cancer.’
‘That’s ridiculous and very unfair to say so.’
‘Oh, they haven’t actually said it out loud, but I’m pretty sure that’s what they think. The place was very rundown when we moved over here. We did all the renovation work ourselves, even down to making the kitchen cupboards. It’s amazing what you can learn from YouTube! It was exhausting, though, and Erin was little so we tried to make sure she settled in. Maybe we did take on too much. Sometimes the constant worry wears you down. Sorry to offload. Bet you wish you’d gone in the car with Christabel.’
‘Um, no!’
‘Please don’t say anything to anyone. The last thing you want customers to know is that a business or its owner is struggling. It’s the kiss of death. To be honest, I’m more worried about the children than the business. I can start up again somewhere else doing something different, but Erin loves it here and Fitz has ADHD so he would probably find it really hard to settle into a new school and make new friends.’
‘And Tasha would be devastated if you all left.’
‘I know. She’s like another daughter.’
He turned the car into a driveway flanked by tall iron gates.
‘Here we are,’ he said, turning to look at her for the first time. ‘I hate things like this. “You need to sell yourself, darling,” Gabriella said to me when I came over last week, but I’m no good at that stuff. I just want to sit in my studio and create.’
‘Then I’ll do it for you,’ she said. ‘Point me in the direction of the right people and I’ll sell you and your beautiful artefacts.’
He looked doubtful.
‘You don’t believe me? I can be really positive if I put my mind to it. It’s time I rediscovered that positive person instead of wallowing in self-pity. Look at it as a quid pro quo if that makes you feel any easier. You’ve helped me out since I came here. Now it’s my turn to do the same for you.’
Side by side they walked up a tree-lined path towards the barn; little lanterns, already lit, had been placed on the ground ready for when darkness arrived.
‘This place is stunning,’ Jules said, looking down towards a lake where swans glided lazily across the water. Outside the barn were a plethora of terracotta pots filled with every shape and size of perfectly clipped box bushes. Draped beneath the eaves of the barn itself were festoons of fairy lights and from inside came the clink of glasses and chatter of voices.
‘Deep breaths,’ Jules said as they paused outside the open doorway.
She felt the tension radiating off him and reached for his hand.
‘You’ve got this,’ she whispered. ‘We both have.’
And as she shifted closer, he curled his fingers gratefully around hers.
Towards the end of the evening Jules slipped out of the barn and made her way across the manicured lawn. It was one of those rare English summer evenings when the warmth still wrappedaround you and there was no hint of a breeze. High in the darkening sky the moon glowed brightly, silhouetting the tree canopy on the other side of the lake. Almost hidden by bulrushes a small wooden jetty jutted out over the edge of the water. Jules settled at the end of it, took off Carrie’s sandals, which were pinching a little, and dipped her toes into the coolness as she watched swans shepherd their cygnets towards the safety of a small island. A sense of safety, that’s what she had craved ever since her father died, and it had always eluded her. Since coming here, she had realised that chasing after safety was like chasing after a rainbow. It would always elude you, but you could find something different: feeling content with the present. Sitting here, swirling her feet around in the water, even batting insects away from her face, she felt content. She wished she could capture the feeling and hold on to it, but emotions weren’t like that. They came and they went, up and down like a rollercoaster, and that’s how it was meant to be.
‘Here you are!’
And it was gone, that feeling of contentment to be replaced by fluster.
‘Sorry! I made you jump.’
She looked up at him, smiling tenderly down at her. Please don’t look at me like that, she thought. I don’t deserve it.
‘I was miles away.’
‘Are you all right?’
He made no move to sit down beside her and for that she was grateful.
