We can’t hide this. It’s impossible. And no matter how hard he tries to convince me otherwise, he can’t control himself. Being together and on the same team affects his mental health and his performance on the ice.
His chest rises and falls rapidly as he straightens to his full height. “What are you talking about? You love coaching.”
“I love you.” Wholeheartedly. Unconditionally. He’s broken me.
“Hockey is your life.”
I shake my head. “Hockey isn’t my life. You’re my life. Aurora is my life. This family is my life.”
“You could win the Stanley Cup.” He places his hand over his heart. “I can give you that.”
“I’d rather be yours.” Emotion tightens my throat, and I force myself to swallow. “I’d rather be with Aurora. I’d rather be a father.”
His eyes glisten, his brows furrowed. “You’re serious?”
“Yes.” My decision was made during the flight, but seeing Jax cuddling a toddler…that sealed it. I’ve lost my damn mind, but this is what I want.Them. The house, the kids. I want to hold my son proudly in the arena with Jax’s hand in mine. Always.
“What happened?”
Despite his heartbreak, I can’t help but chuckle. “You.Youhappened, baby boy. You and Aurora.”
Chapter 38
Jackson
Iwant to rage. I want to cry. Iamcrying—a little. “Your pillow talk needs fucking work. Were you hoping to soften the blow with an orgasm?”
“No.” He rinses the shampoo from his hair, his face tilted up into the spray. “I was going to wait until New York.”
I’m pissed off, but my cock still tries to rally at the sight of soapy water sluicing off his bulging muscles.
Then, realization hits me, and panic splinters in my chest, my hard-on forgotten. “Oh my fucking God. Are you staying in New York too?”
“No—” He releases a heavy sigh. “I don’t know.”
“What the fuck, Ethan?” My voice rises, and I glare at him. Not even the snake between his legs could distract me at this point. “What the hell am I supposed to do? Go to LA while everyone lives on the other side of the fucking country?”
A blush creeps across his face. “Shh, quiet. I wouldn’t do that to you.”
I angrily wash my body, thinking of Ethan and Aurora and the entire family in New York while I’m traveling. Tears burn my eyes. “Whatareyou doing?”
He moves aside to give me space to rinse. “I don’t know yet. Take a breath.”
“Take a breath?” I stare at him in disbelief. “You drop this bomb on me and tell me to take a breath? You planned this and didn’t even talk to me.”
He thrusts a hand toward me. “There is no talking to you about this.”
“So, what? You tried fucking me into submission instead?”
“We’re not fucking,” he dares to say with a straight face.
I give him a blank expression. “You’re joking, right? Is that your way of compartmentalizing? It’s okay as long as we’re not fucking?”
“You’re ridiculous. Are you listening to anything I’m saying?”
About to explode, I step out of the shower, and Ethan follows, shutting off the water.
“Why?” I yank a towel from the rack and wrap it around my waist. “Why are you doing this? Is it because I had a shitty game?”
