“I know, baby. I got it,” he whispers, his warm breath tickling my neck. “I’ll make sure everyone is taken care of. You focus on this interrogation, that’s all.” His lips brush my temple as he pulls away.
“According to this text from Hugo…” Bennett holds up her phone and reads aloud. “He wrote, ‘I miss you, but your pretty girl will do. I’m saving the spot just for her,’ and it’s accompanied by a picture of a cell in the basement of the Skid Row property.”
Aurora gasps and turns to look at me. I glare at Reece on the other side of her and clench my jaw so hard, the muscle spasms.
His face twists with remorse. “Sorry. In order to get a unit to follow Ethan and Aurora home and extra security at the hotel, I had to provide evidence.”
Despite my fury, Bennett continues, “To me, that sounds as if you’ve been in that cell.” She enunciates each word as if she’s cross-examining me on the witness stand.
My body lights on fire then goes ice cold.I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die.The intrusive thought repeats, though in this moment, I doubt it’s intrusive.
The flashback hits violently. I’m rocking back and forth, my arms wrapped around my knees, repeating those exact words in my mind.
I stare down at my bright-white sneakers, a stark contrast to the damp, nasty floor I’m huddled on. They’re scuffed, and when I try to wipe them clean, my smaller fingers smear blood and dirt across the canvas. It’s impossible to get them clean, and I stare at those shoes for days.
Ethan clasps the back of my neck. “We’re done,” he growls, low and harsh. “You can bring him in if you need to question him. Don’t contact us otherwise.”
His thumb caresses my skin, and reality returns in waves. My heavy breaths whoosh in my ears, though I can’t fill my lungs. My heart slams against my rib cage. I’m shivering, and Aurora is no longer on my lap. She sits with the Viking but holds my hand.
I lean forward and glance down at my boots. Brown, oiled and waxed, broken-in leather. Unnecessary relief washes over me—or maybe it’s relief for twelve-year-old me who never wore white sneakers again, but the numbness remains.
Lucas clears his throat and breaks the silence. “You won’t beat these sick bastards following the rules,” he says to Bennett. “They’re playing outside the law while you’re restricting our abilities. I could’ve researched them a long time ago. Based on what I found, we would’ve known who to concentrate on. Instead, you had me focused on those in this room who’ve hurt no one. Then, you take me off the case for inappropriate behavior.” He gestures to his best friend. “Reece isn’t returning. He has a family to protect because you can’t. If we want to put an end to these predators, we need to work together, not alienateour only source of information. What the fuck is wrong with you?”
Desi chuckles, and Dante glowers at Bennett, daring her to respond unkindly.
She cocks her head and raises her brows. “I’ll let that last comment slide. You’re asking me to allow you to hack into the LAPD and all its employees. Do you know what will happen in court if that information comes to light?”
“I’m not asking for your permission. I no longer work for you. I’m giving you the opportunity to have that knowledge and use it wisely.”
“If not,” Dante continues, “these assholes won’t make it to court. They’ll be dead.”
The late-night air on the balcony is chilly, and goosebumps prickle along my arms. I grab a blanket from the back of a chair and wrap it around my shoulders. Aurora must have been using it; I can’t imagine why else it’d be out here.
More guilt churns in my stomach. She hates this place—too many terrible memories. I’ve done everything I could to prevent her from having to return, yet here we are, at my downtown penthouse. It’s safest and closest to the hospital, and she swears she’s not bothered, but still…it only adds to my misery.
I find the farthest lounger from the door, away from the panoramic windows, and stare out at the never-ending lights. Everyone is inside, including Rocco and Dimitri, and I need a breather. This is the first I’ve been alone since this nightmare began.
For a moment, I allow myself to envision climbing the glass barrier and taking a skydive. The free fall into oblivion is not as appealing as it used to be, but only because it’d kill Aurora too.And maybe Ethan.
The solitude doesn’t last long, maybe five minutes, before I sense him approaching.
He swings his leg over the chair, sits behind me, and draws me into his chest. “Reece is keeping Aurora busy, and the other two are unpacking.”
I make a sound of acknowledgment, my throat too constricted to speak.
His touch dispels the numbness, my emotions rise to the surface, and I pull out of his embrace to stop from shattering.
“Turn around,” he demands.
I know he won’t let it slide, and I shift to face him, my head hung, my eyes downcast. I can’t meet his gaze. If I do, I’ll break.
He raises my chin. “Look at me.”
A part of me wants to defy him, to argue. Maybe he’ll punish me, force me. I crave the fight, the physical pain, but I lack the energy and glance up.
“How bad is it? Don’t lie. You promised to tell me.”
My lips tremble. “I want to die.”
