Desi places gifts under the Christmas tree. “Then hell yeah. We’re in.”
Reece introduces his sister and Danny to the twins, although by the sounds of it, Rocco has filled them in. Then, everyone gathers around the island, chatting excitedly about everything from Christmas to donuts to Jax joining the Stars.
My heart swells as I take it all in, this beautiful patchwork family of ours.
Chapter 49
Jackson
The scalding water scorches my skin, but no matter how hot I crank the lever, it doesn’t burn away the guilt or distract me from the memories.
Aurora showered and fell asleep after dinner, exhausted from the long day, week, month. Reece is getting his sister and Danny settled into the guest suite. While Ethan went to the twins’ apartment, likely to discuss mafia shit he didn’t wish Harper to overhear, I stayed behind, avoiding Lucas like a fucking coward.
I want to support him, comfort him, but when I look at him, I relive my own trauma. The pain is visceral—a sharp blade slicing my skin, a kick in the ribs, hands where they don't belong... The flashbacks only last seconds, but they’re torture.
And they keep coming.
My stomach twists, bile rises in my throat, and my chest constricts until I struggle to breathe. Tears prickle my eyes, and I press my forehead to the glass, my arms braced above me.
Will this horror ever end? We’re safe in New York, but the nightmare still follows me.
The shower door slams, but it barely registers through the mental fog. I’m too numb to react, too spaced out.
“Jesus Christ, Jax.” Ethan reaches past me and twists the knob, cooling the punishing spray. “You’re hurting yourself.”
“Mm.” I emit a sound that’s half acknowledgment, half apathy, but I don’t turn around. I can’t. I’ve lost every bit of energy.
Soft lips press to the back of my neck. “I’ve got you.” His tone is gentle but speaks volumes.
Whatever I need, he always provides. He’ll drag me out of this darkness by my hair if he has to.
Kisses trail down my spine, each one a spark of life that ignites my soul and loosens the fist gripping my heart. He grabs the bodywash from the recessed shelf, slicks his hands, and massages my shoulders. The firm pressure of his fingers eases my tense muscles, and I release a shaky sigh.
“That’s it, baby.” He digs his thumbs into my tight knots. “Come back to me.”
I don’t hesitate. I lean into him, craving our connection. He holds me close, his arms around me, the water cascading over us.
His touch, coupled with the emotional drain, cracks something open within me. “Lucas—” My heart races, and a wave of dizziness washes over me.
Ethan traces the defined lines of my abs. “Lucas is well taken care of, I promise. He has the twins and Reece. He’s focused on vengeance. He wants to fight these fuckers in his own way. He’ll be okay. I’ll make sure of it.”
“Thank you.” I inhale deeply and force myself to let it out. “I keep seeing it.” My body trembles, and I take another breath of steamy air. “Every time I look at him, I see myself. I see that cell…”
Ethan’shands pause their exploration of my stomach but don’t abandon me. “Do you want me to stop?”
“No.” I shake my head. “I need you.”
Even now, with my soul in tatters, I crave him—maybe even more so—and I know he craves me too. His arousal is pressed to my ass.
He resumes his caress. “What do you need?”
I swallow hard, my throat tight, and push back against him. “Love me.”
He stills. “I do love you. I love you so much, it’s insane.”
“Show me.” I spell it out for him.“Fuck me.”
He grips my hips to stop me from grinding on him. “I want you to want me, not use me as a distraction.”
