But, well, he’d done exactly what his reputation suggested he would do. He broke my heart. He may not have sabotaged it deliberately, but right now, I felt broken. I saw something that could have been, and instead it no longer existed. Never would exist anytime soon.
Never would exist, period.
It was a damn shame, really. Fuck, that man knew how to blow my fucking mind. Whether in the metaphorical sense,flying me to New York City and then Wyoming, or in the literal sense with his tongue between my legs… he was good. He really was.
But second or third thoughts didn’t matter. Cassius would have a different woman by the end of the night, if not by noon. He and I lived in different worlds, and I had to accept that.
I returned to my hotel room and took stock of what would carry over and what I would leave behind.
Cassius, obviously, was being left behind. I could always ping Delilah for news gossip and read any tabloids I wished, maybe even the occasional substantive article, but reading about the King of Hearts was very different from being his paired Queen of Hearts. It was akin to being in the poker game versus watching over someone’s shoulder, a massive discrepancy in value compared to watching literally any other sport. I’d ruminated enough on the pros and cons of Cassius, and I had little doubt I would continue to do so. No amount of thinking about him would soften the blow or remove any of the emotion.
My art career would not gain any further momentum, but I liked to think that with the photos fromAllure,the various galas we’d gone to, and the connections I’d made, I at least was in a better place than I was a month ago. I supposed, it being Thanksgiving and all, I should have given thanks for that. Not every artist got that opportunity.
“Well, Cassius, you can’t let a bad thing lie dormant,” I said, the thought of King and the Black Reapers coming to mind, “but thanks, I guess, for helping me make more money.”
Maybe that would be the legacy of Cassius Vale. A great lover, a terrible boyfriend or partner, and the ultimate businessman.Enriching in the moment, painful in the end. I tried not to prescribe too much of my worldview to it; Cassius was clearly doing fine.
I’d leave Las Vegas, and it was a city that was obviously different from what it had been four years ago. Quieter, for one. More peaceful, definitely. There would be people who would never understand that the “good old days” weren’t really that good, but people like Delilah, Talia, and Bridget would know.
Oh, fuck.
Leaving Las Vegas meant going from seeing them almost literally whenever to not at all, maybe once a year if they chose to come down to Phoenix.
Fuck!
I hadn’t just built the beginnings of a second chance with Cassius or a higher level to my career. I’d rediscovered the closeness their friendship provided, something that wasn’t necessarily lost but had definitely fallen by the wayside in the years since our early adulthood. Actually, they’d never lost it. I had, even if for entirely understandable reasons.
That thought alone almost brought me to tears. I had to leave Las Vegas, but I couldn’t do it without one more girl’s lunch. I pulled out my phone, my hand trembling and my eyes on the verge of bursting into tears, and typed out, “Hey everyone, I’m leaving Vegas as soon as possible. Can we have one more gathering? Maybe Sunday or even early Monday?”
It only hit me as I sent the message that, it being Thanksgiving weekend, it was very likely everyone else was out of town. Because of course. Delilah had been right. I was the turkey fattened up until the ax came swinging down at the worst time possible.
Or, if you preferred the more “romantic” metaphor, that was why Cassius was the King of Hearts. Because he’d inflated mine,only to choose the exact perfect time to break it into a million pieces.
All because of the Black Reapers.
Who may not even be what they once were—or ever were, if you think for more than two seconds.
Yet it was all but impossible for your brain to function when your heart was broken.
19
CASSIUS
Iwoke up on Black Friday alone.
A golden hue from the rising sun began to cast over Las Vegas Boulevard. As I stood at the glass windows of the penthouse ofRuby,I watched as the lucky ones of the town scattered about. Tourists who were married poured their money into gifts for their wives. The single ones were sharing tales and laughs about the night before, even if over hangovers.
I sipped on a glass of water as I took it all in, wondering how the fuck I’d spend the rest of the day. My seemingly perfect relationship had fallen apart because I had decided to tell the truth—no, because I had decided to pursue something I’d ultimately had to tell the truth on. I could have easily moved on, told myself I’d let myself get too deep with Sarah, and fucked someone else.
But while that might answer who I’d fuck tonight, it wouldn’t answer the deeper questions within.
The last time I’d had this feeling, I was mere hours from seeing Sarah Carpenter for the first time in years, yet strangely, I hadn’t realized what that feeling was at the time. Turns out, when you’re a broken man, you don’t always recognize if you’re broken. I sure didn’t. You think you’re just a tough ass, a manwho has accomplished so much because of your money and your status. Don’t get me wrong, I was still the fucking King of Hearts, and I still intended to conquer the Las Vegas Strip and destroy the Morril family.
But I now recognized that my attempts to break Sarah were for vengeance on something that I could never get vengeance for. I wanted her to feel the pain that I had felt when Virgil died, but that would not have given me the peace I’d sought for over a decade. It certainly wouldn’t bring Virgil back from the dead.
Ironic, I thought. As a billionaire, I thought that there was no problem a bit of money and a dollop of power couldn’t solve. That was largely true, but there was a massive gulf between “largely” and “entirely.” Realizing that was one fucking painful way to start a holiday weekend.
So what was I to do?
