Leigh
There was a strange sort of guarded optimism as Sonny and I entered his house with the night well set.
So much had happened that, I suspected, would have broken him even just a couple months ago. I knew his club had blown up. I knew something had happened about joining the Black Reapers. His father had woken, but it was clear that the two of them would have some things to work on.
But he was still standing. And more than that, there was a sort of rugged determination in his eyes that suggested he would not lose whatever he was setting his mind to. Although it wasn’t like I was poor by any stretch, I imagined the look to be like that of a man who has lost everything but his life and has nothing left to lose.
That man was free and dangerous. Fortunately, I had reason to believe that I was only going to see the free side of him. For now, though, I mostly kept quiet.
When we got inside, I took a seat at the kitchen table, not sure where else to sit. Sonny went to the fridge, grabbed two beers, and handed me one.
“It’s not wine, but it’s what I got right now,” he said.
“I understand,” I said.
So much had happened that I couldn’t remember if he actually had other drinks and was just too lazy to get them. It wasn’t a major point, anyway.
“Were you serious?”
I suppose he’s getting right to it. Probably for the best.
“About?”
“You know what,” he said, sounding exhausted. “Your whole coming around thing. Your phone call to me this morning. Wanting to have the conversation again.”
“Yes,” I said, also deciding that there was no real point beating around the bush. “Sonny, I…I want us to try this. I’m happy to explain why. But the bottom line should be what’s said first. I want us to give this a try.”
Sonny gave a flicker of a smile. But he suppressed it and kept his eyes locked on me, perhaps testing me to see if I might change my mind or break somehow.
“What changed?”
I took a sip of my beer. It wasn’t very good, which was just as well. I needed to focus on what the topic at hand was.
“What changed was that for most of the time I’ve been an adult, I’ve either just lied to myself about wanting to have fun or, in rare moments, blamed my father for where I was. But when I spoke to him, something flipped. I knew I couldn’t keep doing it like this. He might have put me here, but I’m the one who decides where I go from here.
“And so, I’ve decided that you’re a man of honor and integrity. You’re handsome, but more than that, you’re a doer. You do what you believe in. That’s rare, Sonny. I want to be around that. I want us to see where we can go. I want…you.”
“And you’re sure,” he said. “Don’t say it unless you’re serious. I was in a good mood when I made the offer. I’m willing to make it, but I need to make sure.”
“I’m sure of it.”
Sonny nodded. He stood up, walked around the table to me, and stood over me.
“Stand up.”
I did, feeling nervous. I really had no idea what he was about to do. He stared me up and down; it seemed arousing, but I was trying to be cautious and not assume anything.
And then he leaned down and kissed me.
And then the kiss got heavier and heavier as I fell into it.
And then he did something that felt so romantic, it would have passed as corny in just about any other setting. But here, after the conversation we’d had, after the growth we’d had to go through, after everything we had lost or nearly lost, it felt…right.
He swept me off my feet, carried me in his arms, and brought me upstairs to the bedroom.
It was, of course, reminiscent of something out of a wedding. And by no means were we at that point yet; to say nothing of the violence and chaos surrounding his world and, to a larger extent, Phoenix, we still had much to learn about each other before we could get there. But never before had I been with someone who made me really think, “What if?”
Never before had anyone given me those skipped heartbeats, those clammy hands, that fire in the stomach quite like Sonny had—and if it ever had happened, it hadn’t happened the third time having sex. Erotic fire just didn’t last that long if it wasn’t something deeper than that.
