The kiss was so hot. This man was so hot. Committing myself to him…
Why is it so fucking hard?
I pulled my head back just barely enough to get out the words. But the words never came.
And after the third such try, Sonny pulled back, taking a noticeable one-two step backward, now making the distance too great to bridge just by leaning really far forward.
“I hope the time and space apart work,” he said. “But I’ve got a job to do, and if you can’t give me a firm answer, I can’t spend time thinking about it.”
With that, he turned his back to me and walked away. I watched him go from across the street all the way to his home. Never once did he turn back to me. Every single moment, it stung.
But what should I have expected? I knew that this man could both turn to stone as much as he could love and make love. It should not have hurt me to see him shift gears so abruptly yet effectively.
I got in the car when his front door closed, shaking my head. I was pretty damn fucked up. At least I could acknowledge it, but awareness sure didn’t do much right now.
“This is my future, I guess,” I said to myself.Destined to be the party girl. Destined to be the one that can’t settle down. Daddy issues, confidence issues, whatever you want to say…I got them.
I turned the car on and took one last look. There was no one there. I drove off.
And as the car began moving forward, I glanced back, my actual last look.
This time, he was in the window of his bedroom, the very room where we’d made love so many times.
But by the time I gave it a second thought, his house had become just one of many in my rearview mirror.
