Spawn
Iwasn’t going to do this dance for months again.
I could forgive Melissa for reverting back to old habits. Her fucking parents had just died, for fuck’s sake, and the fighting Satan and I had about everything at the club had spilled over to here. This wasn’t exactly the happiest of double dates.
But I couldn’t forgive myself if I let myself play this fucking game again. If I did, I’d turn straight into the fucking dick that I’d been to her before. And while I didn’t mind being an asshole who got what he wanted, I had some reservations about being a dick that went out of his way to ruin an innocent woman’s life.
So better to act like a fucking man, get this shit out, and figure it out. And if it didn’t work, I could walk the fuck away—literally—get on the bike, head back to the clubhouse, and slam some pussy to forget that this ever was a possibility.And if it does, then I’ll get what I really want right now.
“What do you mean?” Melissa said.
I sighed.
“Look, you disappeared with Hailey for, what, twenty minutes? Or it felt like that fucking long. I know you weren’t just taking a shit. And when you came back out, you looked confused. So tell me, what’s going on? What do you not want to say?”
Melissa sighed, bowed her head, and shook it.
“It’s…”
I almost said something but bit my tongue at the last second. That was probably what prevented her from leaving on the spot right then and there.
“It’s like I’m repeating the pattern from last time, Corey.”
I folded my arms and let her speak. I wasn’t going to say a word until she asked me to. This was her time.
“I suck at communication, so forgive me if everything just comes tumbling out right now. I…I’m attracted to you, sure. I think you’re fun. But I don’t want us to go back down…no, to even consider going back down if we’re not going to handle it well. The only thing worse than getting dumped is getting dumped twice by the same person. And…”
She groaned and looked away. I followed her gaze but gave her space all the same.
“Since I can’t talk about it, it’s like I’m repeating the pattern. And on top of that, I know if I keep drinking, I’ll be more likely to do something tonight.”
You say that like it’s a bad thing.Fortunately, I stopped myself from saying that out loud.
“And I just…I don’t know, OK? That could sum up everything that I’m feeling right now. I don’t know. So if you have any advice, I’m all ears.”
I actually didn’t know off the bat what to think of that. But one thing I did know was that my general attitude was to take what I wanted and deal with the consequences later. I’d been extra careful about Melissa up to this point, but that was getting tiring and stretching my patience thin.
I looked at her as she looked into the distance. She was even more beautiful than when we’d dated; although age usually wore on women, in this case, it seemed to brighten her, make her even prettier. I had to have her.
Or at the very least, I knew I would regret if I didn’t try and make a move. And who knew? Maybe if I was bold and took the initiative, her “I don’t know” would turn into a “sure, let’s do it.”
I grabbed her hand. She looked down in surprise and then looked up at me. I would not let go of that hand until we were inside or she pulled away.
“I’m no fucking psychologist, and I’m not about to pretend that I have the answers. But I can fucking tell you that if you’re attracted to me, and I’m attracted to you, why not enjoy the night? Doesn’t have to mean fucking anything. Just means let’s go dance and have fun. Forget the stress.”
I could see the gears turning in Melissa’s head. It was easy for me to say this shit; whatever anxiety I had I ignored in favor of toughing shit out or attacking the problem. But I wasn’t Melissa.
She kept looking from me to the distance and back, like she was attracted to my gaze but couldn’t help it. Her looks, though, short as they were, were sexy enough that I found my mind running fucking wild.
I tried to recall the last time that we had sex. I couldn’t say for sure when it was, but there were memories of her naked body on top, bent over my bed, on our couch…I mean, holy fuck, when this girl was on, she could fuckinggo.Obviously, I liked her for more than the sex, but the mere prospect of thinking she was possibly going to fuck me was the kind of thing that got me stiff enough to burst through my pants.
“I don’t know if this is a good idea.”
I knew right then she was trying to convince herself. I just needed to keep my damn mouth shut and I’d probably get what I wanted.
“Hailey’s probably already making out with Sam on the floor.”
“Or on their way home.”
