Melissa
From the moment I walked in, I felt like I was living two separate selves.
On the interior, I was nervous and excited. I was nervous about seeing Corey again up close, and after all these years and all those fights, he couldstillgenerate a certain nervous wave of energy in me. Like it or not, that was present.
But even though I had been the one to say I was open to meeting him, I did not want to give him the impression I was ready to just jump into bed with him, or even jump into a dining booth with him. He needed to prove that he could be a gentleman for a period beyond my parents’ death. And so, on the outside, I was playing the part of cold bitch.
And that was why I said no when he asked me to grab dinner and drinks.
But even though I was happy to play a part for the many reasons I had, I was no professional actress. I could maintain my façade for only so long before it cracked. Even then, it cracked in a way I had not expected.
I’d said there would be a next time.
And I wasn’t kicking myself for the thought. Corey listened so much better than he had in all the years. He was still very much a biker, and that was never going to change. If it did, I’d wonder if he would be the same guy I’d loved in the past.
But he seemed a better version of the same guy he was, a guy who would take no shit, but also a guy who now understood people didn’t need to be talked to all the damn time, that people didn’t need to bend to his every whim. He didn’t get run over, but he no longer seemed like he needed to run over everyone.
“Yeah, why not?” I said, trying desperately to salvage the appearances I’d built up. “This has gone well. I don’t see the harm in hanging out again.”
“There is no harm,” Corey said. “I’m sure we can figure it out.”
His eyes now brimmed with confidence. Shit. Well, I guess I kind of wanted this, so this was kind of OK? It wasn’t the worst thing in the world, at least?
“I should get going,” Corey said.
“You…”
“What? You’re not ready to leave?”
“I mean, I do have to go in like five minutes, but that’s five minutes we can chat.”
It was a lie. But I…well, I didn’t know what the hell I was doing. I wanted this to continue but not at the pace this was, but not so slow, but not so fast, but, but, but…
Ugh.
“So let me ask,” Corey said, and my stomach lurched in anticipation of a heavy question, whatever it was going to be. “If your parents are gone, and you were living in Odessa before, what are your plans now? I assume you don’t have much back there.”
“I don’t have anything back there besides them,” I admitted. Odessa had been a stopgap that had widened into a several-year gap. It was terrible that their death was the impetus to get me out, but here I was. “I don’t know.”
“You don’t know, or you haven’t given it thought?”
I’d never known Corey for being a deep thinker. Funny, sexy, wild, sure, but someone who thought on a deep level, never. So for him to parse apart an answer like that to the degree he did showed I either didn’t understand him as well as I thought I had, he had changed, or he’d never shown me this side of him.
Either way, it was wild to realize that despite dating for as long as we did, we really didn’t understand each other.
“I haven’t given it much thought,” I said.
And as I said those words out loud, I realized why I hadn’t done so. It meant facing the possibility of moving back here and everything that could happen. Let’s face it; I wasn’t about to become one of those ex-pats who moved to Mexico or the Philippines. I wasn’t going to just abandon my sister and my home for cheaper rent because my job struggles at the moment were a bit tough.
And if that were the case, why would I move somewhere else like Los Angeles or San Diego or Las Vegas? Hailey mattered to me a great deal. Not much else did. Not that nothing else mattered, but nothing mattered like being near family.
Giving that more thought, though…
“I gotta go, though. Walk with me to my car?”
“You drove here?”
“I’m being cautious,” I said.
