And then utterly and completely relaxed.
Holy hell.
It was beautiful.
Also, why the fuck had I waited a decade to get back into this?
Because it had to be him. No one else would have done this. Could have done this.
“Mason,” I gasped breathlessly as he moved back.
I looked at him with yearning, loving eyes. He actually looked fearful, perhaps afraid my saying his name was an indication that I had had a flashback. But nope, never once had anything from the past crossed my mind.
“I want all of you,” I said with a tender smile, finding it somewhat amusing that I was the one having to calm him down.
“You’re sure?” he said.
Admittedly, no Bandit had eaten my pussy out that night. There was selflessness to the act of cunnilingus that made it somewhat easier to detach. But there was no hesitation in my mind.
“Yes,” I said. “Get naked and get inside me.”
As he stepped back to take off his pants, I found my heart fluttering. This could have been deja vu to before. And admittedly, some of the moments did come back.
But unlike before, I had control of them.
I had control to realize that I wasn’t subservient to whatever horrors had happened before. I could not deny them, but I did not have to bow to them, either. I could accept them, move past them, and then focus on the present.
And, boy, the present was that Mason was very well-endowed. I had another reason to have my heart fluttering.
“Come,” I said, bringing my legs up and spreading them so he had an easy pathway. He came forward, hovering over me, devouring me in a sloppy kiss.
But…
He did not go in.
I reached down and grabbed his cock. It felt good. There had been a moment before where the act had been forced upon me; funny how having control in the moment made it easier to not feel bad about it.
“It’s OK,” I said. “I trust you, Mason. And…”
I almost let it slip that I loved him. That would have been a bit much, even for me and everything I was pushing.
“And I want you to make love to me.”
That was a healthy compromise. I wasn’t going to be able to hold down the words forever, but for now, in the middle of the first time we were having sex, we could.
“Say no more,” Mason said.
I felt his tip brushing the outside of me, trying to find the right spot. I braced myself as he found it. I knew I’d be tight. I wished I’d encouraged him to get some lube.
But then he entered. He had to go slowly at first, but even just the tip of him going inside…oh, fuck.
I’d never felt anything so perfect. More than that, I had never felt anything soright.
Something, after all, could feel perfect in the physical sense, but in every other sense of the word, it wasn’t. But this just felt right. It had to be Mason. It had to be him all along to bring me back to normalcy.
It always had to be him, the man as broken as me, just the one living his life out in the world to see.
I almost wish I could say what happened as we made love on that bed, but it kind of turned into a pleasurable, dizzying blur. We started with me on the bottom, but we swapped to me on top, him taking me from behind, me on top in reverse, me riding him on the edge of the bed…what mattered less was the position and more just how sure I felt about everything. How…normal this could become.
