“Stay in the moment.”
“Hmm?” Mason said, not having heard me talk to myself.
Embarrassed, I just kissed him as passionately as I could, practically pushing my tongue down his throat. His hands curled under my shirt and reached my bra. I felt a surge of warmth and pleasure as his hands cupped my bra before sliding under that. Oh, shit, that felt good!
And…
Nothing.
OK, maybe it was just a one-off. A singular, weird flashback that I’d managed to push past and still continue toward great sex. This was good.
I sat up a bit and took off my shirt. As I did so, he unhooked my bra in the back. Our naked torsos came together, continuing to make out. This was good.
He reached down toward my pants, but he didn’t do anything at first. He was definitely moving slower than I consciously wanted, but maybe that was a good thing. Maybe the slower we went, the more overall enjoyable this would be. I definitely wouldn’t complain about it, either way.
And then, finally, he rolled with me, laying him on his back, and he pushed his hands down to my ass. That felt good. That felt—
Pants being ripped off. Laughing—
“The fuck?”
“You OK?”
Mason had definitely noticed that time. I couldn’t bullshit my way past it with a kiss.
“Just had a weird sensation, but it’s fine.”
Mason’s face definitely didn’t register that it was fine. But I was determined to push through the moment, consequences be damned. I wasn’t going to live the rest of my life in a prison of the past; if I got a bit bruised trying to ram through the prison bars, then so be it.
“Come on,” I said, “let’s get back to it.”
Mason still didn’t make a move, so I decided to do so myself. My hand reached down to his pants, feeling his bulge. It had been some time since I’d felt anything like that, and the feeling…
Being forced to touch them.
Being forced to take it.
Being forced to remain in place as they tortured and raped me.
“Rachel?”
Being forced to…give myself up.
Being forced to…lose myself.
Being…being…
“Rachel!”
No control.
No power.
No sense of self.
“Rachel!”
I jolted out of the flashback as Mason had sat up and held me in his arms. For a brief second, I remained in his arms, shaken by what had happened. I…I’d thought I could get through the moment, and instead, the moment overpowered me. Took me, controlled me, did what it wanted with me…just like the Bandits had all those years ago.
