“Her name’s Katie. Works at a convenience store-gas station thing between here and Albuquerque.”
“Oh, that’s fun. How’d you meet her?”
Connor shrugged.
“Through Brock.”
Brock.
“Where is Brock today?”
“He’s taking care of club business.”
The facial expression that came from Connor, however, did not match his words. It wasn’t so much that I did not believe him. I knew he was being truthful. It was more that he understood what he’d just said would not suffice as a real answer; he knew I wanted to know how I could see him again.
“Do you want me to tell him you dropped by?”
“I—”
For such a seemingly obvious question, why was I hesitating so much to ask it?
I knew, of course. It was because whenever I saw him, while I remembered all the good times we had, I also remembered that darkest of nights. And it wasnotBrock’s fault in any way, shape, or form, but because he’d been there, he reminded me of it. It was part of why I had had to break up with him.
It was unfair to him. But maybe things had changed in a decade or so.
I just could not put that burden on Connor.
“I’ll find him myself,” I said. “But thank you, though.”
“Of course.”
A knock came at the door. I was proud of the fact that I didn’t jump that high.
“Yeah?” Connor said, not bothering to hide how annoyed he sounded.
The door swung open. Mason, smelling like oil and other car fluids, peered around the doorway. He really did just look so…both somehow the same and also more grizzled and wiser. Maybe it was because I’d always seen him as the “older man” that he somehow looked the same. Or maybe I’d just had this image in my head over the years that needed to be updated.
“Car’s almost set,” he said. “I can show you the work whenever you’re ready.”
“We’ll come to you.”
Mason, getting the hint, nodded, shut the door, and left Connor and me alone.
“It’s good to see you again, Rachel,” Connor said.
With anyone else, maybe I could have expected a long speech to follow about how much I’d been missed and how much courage I was showing. With Connor, he’d said all that he was going to say. And that was, sincerely, a welcome relief. I knew it would be somewhat painful adjusting back to public life, and I would enjoy some moments of well-wishes and pleasant surprise.
But also, I really welcomed not having to overdo it.
“Likewise, Connor,” I said. “I’m glad you’re in a happy space.”
Connor opened his mouth, said nothing, and just nodded. I knew what he hadn’t said. “You too.”He didn’t know if it applied to me yet.
I didn’t know if it applied to me yet, either.
I stood up, walked out of the repair shop garage, and saw my car sitting outside. Mason stood in front of it, wiping some sweat off despite it being December.
“You sweat easily, huh?”
