I mean I wanted him around for a long, long time. Again, caught up in the moment, but I just knew looking at him that I’d never looked at anyone like him. He had both the smarts and the stoicism I knew I’d always valued, but he also had the rough edge that I’d tried to deny but had always wanted. I guess that rough edge had always grated on me too hard, making it impossible to appreciate.
But just because I didn’t want to grind against the rough edge didn’t mean I didn’t want to have all smoothness. That was too boring. That was too vanilla.
Somehow, Zack covered all the bases.
“Oh, fuck, Zack.”
He put me into doggy after a minute, and once more, I came. I knew the physical and the emotional were playing into each other, but fuck, it really was unlike anything I’d ever felt.
Zack, again, finished on my back. It wasn’t like I didn’t have warning; his loud groans and grunts that he was about to come more than gave it away. I moaned his name as I felt his warm seed landing on my back, encouraging him on and on.
And then, just like that, the best morning sex I’d ever had ended.
“Oh, fuck,” Zack said with a chuckle. “A shame I can’t keep you around all day, huh?”
I laughed.
“I do have to go to the hospital eventually,” I said. “But noon is far off.”
“True,” he said. “Let me go shower though, I feel filthy. Care to join?”
Oh, man. As awesome and as fun as that sounded, I was so exhausted from all of the great sex we were having that I knew if I went in there, we’d go at itagain.And at some point, pleasure turned to pain.
“I’ll wait for you here,” I said.
“OK,” he said, kissing me. “I’ll come back and we can head back to your car.”
So soon?
I didn’t say anything as I kissed him some more. Zack went to the shower unaware, and I did nothing to dissuade him from his thoughts.
And frankly, it was unfair to think negatively of him. We’d had sex three times in the last twelve hours or so, had ridden on a motorcycle for half an hour, and we’d need to head back. And on top of that, just because I was starting at noon didn’t mean that we could aim to arrive at noon. I needed to not reek of motorcycle and sex.
But all the same, the feeling of deja vu was impossible to shake, fair or not.
Once again, I’d woken up in this house after having a de facto one-night stand—this one was a little more emotional, but I’d let myself get carried away. And once again, even though Zack was nice about it, I felt like I was being ushered out.
It wasn’t fair to Zack. But emotions had a funny way of playing with us.
I thought I was the good girl who was careful who she slept with. Among my friends, I was known as the sweet, nice, and quiet one. If anyone was going to go sexually crazy on the first night, I would have pegged Katie as the person to do it.
But here I was, having now done this twice, with two different guys. Tara was the only other one of my friends who could say she’d slept with multiple Black Reapers, and she’d now dated both of them for at least a year each.
Maybe I didn’t know myself as well as I thought I did. Maybe for all the talk about having my shit together as a doctor and being quiet and composed, there was a quiet desperation to find someone who was both smart and funny…and also a little rugged. The boys in medical school certainly didn’t fit that criteria.
Zack sure did, though.
And now look at me. Naked in his bed after one date.
Maybe a lack of dating wasn’t indicative of being choosy. It was indicative of being desperate for the right guy, and then throwing myself at him.
I didn’t know how to feel about all of this anymore, but I could say that it wasn’t a great feeling.
Zack showered pretty quickly, and when he came back, he didn’t bother with a towel. Somehow, once more,once again,he was hard and ready to go.
“Do you ever settle down?” I said, laughing.
“Nope,” he said. “Everyone here thinks I’m Professor Smartass, quiet and reserved, but that doesn’t correlate with sex drive.”
