“What the hell are you doing in downtown Albuquerque, anyway?” Cole asked. “Usually all of you are down here. Rare we just get one.”
“I—”
Why even lie? Not like you’re going to talk about fighting Bandits.
“I came here to see a woman.”
“Ah,” Cole said like he’d suspected it all along. “All of you are starting to find women to commit to, huh?”
“Let’s not get carried away.”
“On the contrary, I’m actually calling it exactly like I see it,” Cole said. “I saw it happen with the Black Reapers back in Springsville, and now I’m seeing it with you.”
I bit my lip, accepted a drink of whiskey that Cole had made, and sipped on it, letting the silence try and get Cole to move on to a different topic. It wasn’t working.
“I went out with a woman that is attractive,” I said. “But commit to? That’s not me.”
Cole chuckled.
“That’s what they all said,” he said. “Lane, Patriot, Axle, Butch, Phoenix, and then even me. We all said at various times and various places that we’d never fall in love. My brother seemed the least likely of all of them. He’d once been in love, and then his girlfriend was murdered—a woman he had plans on proposing to. None of useverthought he’d love again, or at least not for decades.”
“And then he was the first.”
Cole nodded.
“Best guess I have is that once Lane committed to someone, it implicitly encouraged or allowed the others to do so,” Cole said. “I don’t need to tell you that us bikers aren’t exactly the commitment type.”
I snorted in agreement.
“But when the club president commits himself to one woman and isn’t afraid to show it, it allows everyone else to fall in line. And I’m seeing it now with Brock, Steele, and Garrett. And now, you sound like you’re up.”
“I think you’ll see Zack first,” I growled. “And probably even Mason.”
But Cole shook his head.
“In California, I thought I’d be first,” he said. “Even before my brother and I split.”
He looked out the window at his wife.
“But you know what? I don’t care that I was last. I’m happy with Lilly, and it’s not even close to anything I have ever felt. When I saw my son born…”
Cole did not sound anywhere near on the verge of tears. But he clearly had to collect himself given the emotions he was feeling.
“Everything in my life became about him,” Cole said steadily. “And I know that when Garrett’s son was born, he felt the same way.”
He took a gulp of his whiskey.
“All of this is to say, Connor, that you do you. But don’t be afraid to let a woman be a part of it.”
I’m not fucking afraid.
Which is why you let her kiss you on the cheek but not the lips, right?
I ignored the voice in my head, trying to silence it with a good old-fashioned gulp of whiskey. It worked for the moment.
But I knew that at some point, if I wanted to move past this brooding, fighting asshole I’d become, I would have to get over my teenage pussy side and let Katie in. I had never thought that this shit would stay with me this long, but then again, I had never really tried, either.
If there was going to be anyone to get me to actually try, it was going to be Katie.
And, I had to admit, if there was anyone that truly would hurt me so badly that I would never try again, it was one Katie Lane.
