Fuck, maybe I did need to get an abortion. Maybe it would be a disservice to this child to bring them into the world. Maybe I was overly naive about how this all would go.
I was no hero. I was no great woman who could move past what had happened to my parents. Fuck…I was just a girl who lost her parents when she was a preteen, had grown up only because of the overbearing presence of my brother, but had lost some valuable moments along the way that I would never get back.
And now, I was supposed to be a mother? How the fuck could I be a mom when I didn’t have one anymore to tell me what to do? Hell, when I didn’t have a parent to tell me what to do? What would happen when the kid turned thirteen? What then? Everything else after that was a guessing game.
And that was assuming that I, as a single mother with school and work on her plate, could somehow make it work. No, bringing a child into this world, into my world specifically, wasn’t something beautiful, something natural or God-given or whatever phrase anyone else would use. It was a cruelty.
But when I thought about actually walking into the clinic, paying for the procedure to be done, and knowing that I had done that…
Shit, it seemed a lot easier of a decision when it was just a talking point among politicians or speakers than it was an actual personal decision.
For now, I decided to just put my arm over my eyes, shut them, and try and rest. It was too early in the evening to fall asleep, but I hoped that at least shutting out the world for a spell would clear my head. If I could just calm myself down enough to fall asleep at the appropriate time, after the way tonight had gone, that would be a win.
Some time passed. I had no idea how long, but enough so that I couldn’t say just a couple minutes. I sat up.
I heard a loud knock on the door.
It didn’t sound like the kind of knock Mason gave. I decided to ignore it.
But then the knock came again.
I gulped.
I walked up to the door. I opened it.
And my eyes went wide at who stood there.
Garrett
Isat in the corner of the clubhouse, taking pride in “my work” for bringing so many girls for the prospects and single guys, but also feeling like I no longer cared as much as I once did for this world.
Oh, don’t get me wrong. The sight of strippers walking around in tank tops and tight jeans was still hot as fuck, and it still got me sprung. But the actual desire to do anything with them just wasn’t there.
Fucking Hannah Jett, man.
Fucking child to come.
It just…it felt like life was banging me on the head, telling me I had a second chance at something that I had once very much assumed wasn’t going to be a thing ever again. Too bad for life, the first chance had ended so badly that I’d all but sworn off second chances.
Around me, the club party buzzed with activity. Brock and Steele were playing some sort of drinking game with the Rogers girls. Connor and Mason were sitting by Butch and Cole, listening to them tell stories of their time in Springsville—the current topic seemed to be some moment that Cole’s brother, Lane, had decided to take on their hated rivals all by himself. It seemed slightly exaggerated, but knowing the Reapers, it didn’t seem too far out of the question.
It was an odd thing to say, but Zack, aka Professor Smartass, was probably the person I could relate to the most at this party.
Except Professor Smartass had his head buried deep in some stripper’s rack right now, and I was left wondering who I’d eventually wind up with just to pass the time. Call me a changed man for the boring, but issues of pussy and booze just seemed so stupid and unnecessary in light of the fact that I was going to be a father.
And then, just as I decided it was time to actually partake at this party, two women decided to drag me into it.
Diamond came over first. With the way she sauntered through any room, completely unafraid to do and say what she wanted, it was impossible not to notice her. But tonight, she had someone new with her—a redhead that I’d seen long ago at the strip club, but someone that, for hopefully obvious reasons, I hadn’t seen in months.
“Garrett,” Diamond said, walking up and pressing her body onto mine. “You are a difficult man to rope in these days. Did one of my girls give you herpes?”
“Hilarious, Diamond,” I said. “No, I’m just taking a bit of a break.”
“A break from sex?” Diamond said dryly. “Somehow, forgive me for not believing you, but I find that full of shit.”
I smirked.
“Would you rather me say that I fucked my way dry through all your girls and you?” I said. “Because there is some truth to that.”
