Not that some of them weren’t handsome, at least. Not that one of them, in particular, wasn’t really attractive, much as I hated to admit it. Not that that one hadn’t been around me with great frequency for a good two-year stretch.
“I never thought signing up with the family corporation would put our lives at risk.”
Tara stared out the rearview mirror, looking at Brock following a safe distance behind. She looked out to the left, back toward Albuquerque and our much safer home than this dump of a small town. I looked to my right and saw nothingness, the complete opposite of our home.
“Maybe it’s time for me to find a new job.”
“Huh?”
I would have been less surprised if she said that she had gone back to Steele. Not less upset, but less surprised.
“Did I hear you right, Tara?” I said. “Did you really just say that it was time for you to find a new job? Are you insane?”
“If I am, perhaps it’s better than being sane,” she said.
I could not compute what was being said. This was not how the Rogers sisters operated. We were orderly, certain, and moved forward along the path that was paved for us by our father. To jump ship otherwise was…was to disobey our father.
“How could you ever defy Dad like that?”
“Because I can?”
That was it; Tara had to be drunk. Or high. Or threatened by Brock. Orsomething.
Or more courageous than you are.
The most troublesome part was the ease with which she said those words. It was so simple, so easy for her to imagine a life without a guaranteed executive position at NME Services in twenty, thirty years. She didn’t have to fret about lost income, about lost prestige, none of that. She just…could say it like she thought about wanting to try being vegan or try a new online workout program.
Could she really do it?Could I ever do it?
No, no way.
“Dad is Dad, but he’s not God,” she said.
“Yeah, but…”
But for everything he’s done for us, he might as well be.
“We’ll talk more about this later,” Tara said as she took a right turn and we pulled up to Southwest Dine, a restaurant with cracks in its uneven parking lot and an appearance of something that had been more popular fifty years ago than now.
Tara got out of the car, walked over to Brock, kissed him—even putting hands on him when he probably smelled like oil—and walked to the front entrance. I got out, more confused and more anxious than ever about what this meant for our family.
Inside, Brock escorted Tara to a back booth without waiting for the hostess to seat them. I got to the table and grimaced at the sight of some biscuit crumbs.
“Gross,” I said as I grabbed a napkin and wiped it off the table.
“It’s part of the character of the place, Elizabeth,” Brock said.
“What, bait for cockroaches?”
Brock just laughed. Tara gave me a dirty look.
“Can you relax?” Tara said.
“Don’t worry about it,” Brock said as he leaned in and kissed Tara, who practically melted under his kiss. “We’ll get someone to wipe it down for us.”
Brock stood up, waved someone down, and had them come and wipe the table with a cloth seconds later. On the one hand, I grimaced at how close the towel came to me. But, on the other, I appreciated Brock doing what he did.
Tara had not done too bad for herself. She’d found someone better for her. She…
No, no, no, this was ridiculous. These guys were bikers. They didn’t have the prestige of an Ivy League graduation or a six-figure job. They weren’t the type of guy that would make my father happy, so they wouldn’t make me happy.
No matter how thrilling, handsome, or genuine they are.
But it became harder and harder to believe myself when I saw Tara’s joyful smile, a smile only someone who felt they had found their forever person gave, while I sat on the other end of the table, looking for things to gross me out and silently wishing that my life didn’t revolve entirely around my career success and making my father happy. It became more difficult when I realized that even into our mid-twenties, Tara succeeding and me looking on enviously continued.
It was hardest of all knowing that who I had always wanted for myself was now available—but I wasn’t Tara and thus wouldn’t win him over.
