“Oh, absolutely,” he said. “You’re welcome to get on that train, by the way. But you’ll have company if you do.”
“What the hell…”
And that’s when I realized that the man hadn’t approached me as soon as he’d seen me. He’d probably seen me somewhere, notified my father, told him what platform and train I was on, and then come and held my attention while my father headed over.
“You all are sick fucks,” I said.
“Yep,” he said. “That’s why we’re Fallen Saints.”
And that was when, over the sociopath’s shoulder, I saw my father, in his dark red cut, approaching with three other bikers.
I was caught.
There was no point in even running. I backed off from the train.
My father stood in front of me, taking off his sunglasses, shaking his head.
“Lilly, Lilly, Lilly,” he said. “It’s time to come home. You are in deep trouble.”
* * *
I went with my father without resistance.
There was no point in fighting. If I didn’t believe that my father would use excessive violence to get me back, I needed to only recall the argument between Cole and Lane and how both had agreed that he would do whatever it took. A lone rogue biker shooting up the train station was someone easily taken down; a man who had lost all sense of perspective and value, accompanied by at least four of his allies, if not more in the shadows, was someone who could create a massive hostage situation full of loss of life.
I was willing to gamble, but unlike my father, I was not willing to gamble with innocent lives.
There was a black van waiting for us. My father ordered me to get into the back of the vehicle, which looked more like a van that transported SWAT police or prisoners than it did everyday citizens. As I sat there, I readied myself to be alone.
But instead, to my surprise, after a couple of minutes, my father joined me in the back, sitting across from me. He smiled at me, folded his hands, and leaned forward. I refused eye contact at first.
“Why did you run away?”
I didn’t answer. My father patiently waited for me to say something before he eventually stood up, gave a long sigh, and chuckled.
“Look, you think that you’re carrying some great secret, but I already know everything,” he said. “You can play dumb and then I can punish you later, or you can talk to me, your father, and we can have the kind of relationship we should.”
I bit my lip. Until he called out what that “great secret” was, I felt he was just bluffing.
But I also knew better than to underestimate my father.
“I will ask this again, Lilly,” he said. “Why did you run away?”
“Because it was the only way to have my own life,” I finally said, though I still did not look him in the eye. “You have all but trapped me in your house. I’m in my twenties, but I feel like I know less about being on my own than a thirteen-year-old who has gone to summer camp. Just once, I’d like to know what it’s like to be free.”
“Understandable,” he said, but that just seemed like he was saying it because it sounded right, not because he meant it. “Have I ever told you what my father was like?”
I shrugged.
“You said he’d served in World War II,” I said. “You said that he also served in the Korean War. Said he was a real hardass.”
“The meanest, toughest motherfucker I ever knew,” he said. “Forgive my language. Grandpa Rusty was no one to cross. You think I’m bad, but he hit me, he punched me, he slapped me, he kicked me. He did everything he could to toughen me up. Said that every time I cried, I was letting myself be a fucking pussy. Said that in this world, people would do whatever they could to fuck you up. In war, he said, the more rules you set for yourself, the more you restrain yourself. Said the only real way to win a battle is to give yourself complete liberty to do whatever the fuck it took.”
He sighed. He said those words almost with admiration, as if Grandpa Rusty was a man to be respected, not loathed or pitied.
“He kept me on the tightest fucking leash I have ever felt. Didn’t so much suggest I join the military as he did demand it. When I finished school, there was no question of college. It was ‘go kill some assholes.’ So I did. And I fucking loved it.”
Big surprise there.
