“Do you want to talk about it?”
I still refused to look at him. But this time, it wasn’t because I was rejecting his kindness. It was because my body had already accepted it, and it was making me emotional.
“Why would you?” I said.
“Why would I what?”
“Why would you want to talk to me about anything?” I said. “I told you I won’t tell you anything that would help you kill my father. I’m of no use to use strategically. I’m just dead weight in this house.”
In this world.
“So why would you want to talk to me about it?”
Cole sighed. I felt the couch depress, him taking a seat about three feet away from me. I stared straight ahead, still not looking at him.
“I’m not going to pretend to understand what it’s like to have your father, because my father treated me well.”
Treated. Not treats…
“But that anger against being in an unfair spot? That situation of just wanting to be left alone? Of feeling like you’re not understood? I know that all too well.”
No, you don’t.
I’ll bet he does.
Shut up!
“It’s just fucking stupid.”
“It is,” Cole said. “And a lot of times, I learned, there’s not much you can do about it but just curse and scream. But eventually, you just learn to move past it. But there’s one thing you have that I didn’t.”
“What?”
“Someone to listen.”
I bowed my head and drew a sharp breath.
“I empathize with you, Lilly,” he said. “I’m not saying that to be a hero or to look like some great guy. I’m flawed. Your father is still my greatest enemy. But, shit, I know all too well what it’s like.”
No one hadevertreated me this way.
No one.
And for someone who belonged to a group that my father had described as a bunch of rapists, thugs, murderers, and criminals, Cole seemed surprisingly mature and emotionally developed.
“How so?” I said.
My voice nearly broke when I spoke.
“My brother and I have not always had the healthiest of relationships,” he said, sounding like he was being very cautious with his words. “We’ve made progress, but even now…”
He clicked his tongue, drew a breath, and paused.
“Well, sometimes, things are built on shaky ground, but after over a year of nothing, you’ll take even shaky ground as a foundation. And even before my father died—”
“I’m sorry.”
Cole looked at me in surprise.
