“Now I can get some,” he said with a smirk.
“Come and get whatever you want,” I said.
But a funny thing happened when I rolled on my back and let him hover over me.
We never went back to going fast. Phoenix seemed less in a rush to get to orgasm and more content to just admire me. It was, honestly, kind of emotional.
In the moment of physical intimacy, I was awash in the present, and I didn’t take the time to think about why or how we’d gotten here. I just focused on the sexy stud inside of me, the man who had grown from a mean asshole into a tough but compassionate man. Maybe I was putting too much stock into this moment.
Somehow, I doubted it.
Shortly after Phoenix came, though, and as soon as he rolled over and I curled up on him, I realized the emotions were because I knew how close I’d come to losing him over something as stupid as not being open about my plans to move. I was not going to take this man for granted.
Because...
I loved him.
Was that crazy to say?
I didn’t really care either way. I cared that he was there, and I cared that he cared about me. And in a life in which I had not had that for most of the time and had only recently gotten it, I was not about to let it go.
“You’re really not moving away, huh?”
I rolled back to face Phoenix to look him square in the eyes. There was a certain vulnerability and hope to them that was only possible after an intensely passionate moment like we’d just shared; nowhere else could he feel so naked and be so naked at the same time.
“Nope,” I said. “Obviously, never say never. But right now, I want to see how this goes. I want to work on myself. And... if I move in the future, it won’t be for a long time. And by that point, you and I...”
“We’ll be together.”
He said it.
But you agree.
“Jess, there is no one in this world who has ever made me feel the way that you do,” he said. “I have always been afraid to commit, but with you, I’m afraid of what happens if I don’t commit. I want you around for as long as I can have you, and damnit, if you move, you might just have me tailing you the whole way.”
I started to laugh, but Phoenix kept speaking.
“Because you have given me something that I have never had before. You give me hope for stability—well, so long as you stay here, as it sounds like you are. Because... fuck it, I’ll say it, I love you.”
Oh my God... he’s serious. Just like I am.
“Too much? I don’t give a fuck. I’d rather say too much now than lose someone without saying what’s—”
“Phoenix,” I said, placing a hand on his cheek. “I feel the same way. You’re not going to lose me. I love you too.”
I moved in to kiss him. It was the best kiss yet.
“Just one request,” he said.
“Hmm?”
“Call me by my real name. Austin. Phoenix is the Sergeant-at-Arms at the Gray Reapers MC. Austin is the man you’re going to fall for.”
Austin. It sounds both gentlemanly and tough. Like the man before me.
“Austin,” I said. It sounded pleasant and rolled smoothly off my tongue. “Just one request on my end.”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t say ‘the man you’re going to fall for.’ Because I already have.”
We pulled back together for a longer kiss.
This time, nothing could separate us.
