“We need to move faster,” Lane said. “Noted. Okay, today’s, what, Wednesday? Let’s do something tomorrow after the meeting. We don’t have to decide now, but if no one comes to me with any suggestions before then, I’m going to just make an executive decision. All good?”
I nodded—all good. Whatever Lane wanted me to do, I would be good with.
“Alright, let’s get back to work.”
I stood up and got to the door.
“Lighter question, Axle,” Lane said. “You seeing anyone?”
That was a hell of a question to ask. That question never got asked in the club. It was like asking someone a question too personal for club business.
“Not really,” I said.
* * *
I thought I had my mental headspace in control in regards to Rose. I was a little crazy for her after the weekend, but I figured once I had a great date and could settle my mind down, things would be a lot easier.
Yeah, no, that’s not how it worked at all. Not even close.
Instead, I suddenly found myself lusting after her like the first time I had ever seen her. Instead of her kneeling to me, I was kneeling to her. And it was so damn unlike me.
Maybe it was unlike me because, to be frank, I had never let anyone else affect me like that. In the years since my breakup with Rose, I had seen other girls. I’d even been exclusive with a few here and there. But I had never opened my soul or made myself quite so vulnerable with them as I had with her. The result was that I could play it cool, and I wouldn’t worry if one left me for someone else or to be single, but that wasn’t because I was genuinely secure. It was because I was just playing them off against the idealized version of Rose.
Who just so happened to be the version that was now back in my life, ever-present, with the most erotic kiss and near-foreplay I’d ever experienced.
Fuck, no one was supposed to have this effect on me. If you asked me three months ago how I would react if Rose Wright came back to Springsville, I’d shrug and say nothing, especially if she had kept her distance. If pressed, I suppose I’d say I would wish her well, but I certainly wouldn’t think anything of it.
And now... life had a really fucking funny way of working sometimes.
As the rest of the Wednesday workday went on, and I took care of my fair share of repairs and oil changes, I tried to keep her out of my head. When I got really deep into a vehicle, it worked a little bit. But the instant I had to stop focusing on something, poof, like a magic trick, she was right back there.
I couldn’t help myself. I really should have just let her be, texted her at the end of my shift, and planned for something at the weekend.
And instead, like a teenage boy who was so overly anxious to get laid that he ruined everything for himself, I texted Rose on my lunch break and asked her if she wanted to meet up that night. I cursed myself out as soon as I sent that text, wondering how it had gotten to the point where I was acting like I was twenty years younger than I really was.
If there was any good news in this inanity I had gotten myself into, it was that by the end of my break, Rose had already responded with about as good a message as I could have hoped for.
“You really want to see me, huh ;-) Yes, but I need to be with Shiloh. You can come over around seven for pizza and a movie if you want. Just those things.”
Oh, that was a dangerous game to play. That was like inviting the tiger to an open field and not allowing him to eat the juicy steak right in the middle. I had no idea how I was actually going to be able to behave myself.
But I couldn’t resist seeing Rose. She had completely flipped the tables on me and turned me into the pursuer, not the pursued. I would someday have to sit back and create a masterclass on how to flip that dynamic because it really was kind of ridiculous that she had managed to pull it off on me.
So I agreed to it. I vowed to myself that I would not sleep with her, no matter what. I might kiss her, and I might get aroused, and I might do all sorts of sexual things, but I would not fuck her. The most I would do is grope, nothing more.
Of course, there probably wasn’t a man alive who said those things and had the self-control to stop himself when he got to that point. So I guess we just had to see if I was setting myself up to dive headfirst into something special or if I was rushing something that could not be rushed, ruining it along the way.
* * *
I gave some thought to going home, showering, and taking an Uber over so that I didn’t smell like gasoline, but at the risk of being a little too self-ridiculing, I was not going to make myself that whipped. She’d already kissed me many times when I smelled of motorcycle, including ten years ago, when we were madly in love. I wasn’t going to completely change myself for her. I may have gotten caught up in the moment, but I wasn’t going to permanently set myself in the moment.
I did shower, but otherwise, I hurried over on my motorcycle, treating the night just like any other night. I walked up to her front door, knocked, listened as Shiloh barked and she shooed him away, and stepped inside once she opened the door. She looked magnificent, even though she was in black gym shorts and a white tank top when I entered, and when I kissed her, her lips tasted just as sweet as they had the day before—maybe even a little bit better.
“How are you?” I said.
“Oh, it’s one of those days,” she said as she went back to the kitchen, putting her laptop on the table and typing on it as she spoke to me. “I’ve been looking to get a second job so I can make ends meet and save some cash because this vet tech job just isn’t paying what I thought it would—stupid California taxes—and I usually do that on my lunch break, but we had some wild animals today, so I had to cut my break short. It sucks, but it’s what I had to do.”
“What kind of animals?”
