Did I?
Honestly…
I didn’t know what I wanted. I was still attracted to that handsome man, but I didn’t know how he’d changed through the years. Maybe he’d turned into a huge asshole. Maybe he’d gotten fat. Maybe he’d become more sullen and withdrawn than he already was. Complete radio silence had a way of making all the improbable possibilities seem realistic.
I went into the office of the complex and saw a woman with her feet up on the desk, drinking what looked like... I wanted to be generous and say it was an old-school Coke bottle, but I knew the truth.In a town like this, we all have to pass the time somehow.
“Hi, I’m here to move in,” I said.
“Move in?” the lady said. “What’s your name?”
Jesus, she’s not expecting anyone, is she?
“Rose Wright. I talked to Jon on the phone and—”
“Ah, shit, that guy never keeps me updated,” the woman said. “Hang on.”
She disappeared into a different room. I looked out the window to see Shiloh still staring at me through the car window, yearning for me to come back. I smiled at him, and his mouth dropped open as if he was trying to talk to me.This is just temporary, buddy. We’ll make it through, I promise. We’ll go back to the good days.
“Three hundred dollars for the deposit.”
“What?” I said. “Jon said it was—”
“Look, Jon’s an old fart who doesn’t know the difference between rent and runt half the time, okay?” the lady said. “You’ll get your three hundred back at the end of your six months if the place is clean.”
This complex utterly reeked of the kind of place that would never return a security deposit. There was nothing about this woman or her communication with Jon that left me convinced in the slightest that I would ever see that three hundred again. And considering I only had five hundred bucks to last me between now and three weeks, when I got my first paycheck from the job I had lined up, I didn’t have a lot of faith that I could make it work.
But what was the alternative, to be homeless? To struggle to make ends meet with my dog? To go somewhere else where I wouldn’t have a job, and I’d have to give Shiloh up for adoption so he wouldn’t starve to death?
I was in a fucked-up situation, and I was too easily exploited. But I’d put myself here with some bad decisions and mistakes. I had to start as close to rock bottom as possible, and only then could I make my way up.
“Okay,” I grudgingly said.
Better I go broke than I go without Shiloh.
I wrote a check for three hundred bucks. I got the key, grabbed Shiloh, and took him to the apartment.
Which, it turned out, was the wrong apartment. There was an old lady watching the news who looked like she’d been drinking. The lady at the front office barely grunted an apology, only handing me the keys to the correct apartment.
This time, finally, I had an empty apartment. It smelled terrible. Shiloh went about sniffing every corner of the place, utterly displeased with what he smelled.
“I know, buddy, I know,” I said, as he whined. “It’s a far cry from where we were before.”
I knelt before him, kissed the top of his head, and pulled him in close.
“But we have a home. And we have hope.”
I checked my phone. LeCharles had not yet replied.
But because I was in the area, I wasn’t lying to myself.
I had hope.
Axle
It was an early Monday morning, just when Carter’s Auto Repairs had opened up, and I was busy changing the oil on an old Ford when I heard the sound of motorcycles approaching.
Motorcycles which were not ours.
