But when she didn’t answer, I figured she was just busy with other things and turned my attention to the most urgent matter.
I walked inside the clubhouse and found Lane sitting in church alone, shaking his head. I turned back to Axle and nodded at him. The silent communication was enough to make clear what we both wanted. I needed the privacy of speaking to him, and Axle needed a job to occupy him as he thought about what we’d discussed this morning.
I knocked before letting myself into church.
“You’re back,” Lane said, his words laced with caution.
“Yeah, man,” I said, taking a breath. “I had to get out of town a bit to get my mind right.”
He didn’t say another word as I sat not across the table from him, but one seat over. It might have been taking Axle’s seat, but I didn’t much care. Axle could fight me when the time came—not that, after this morning, he would.
“Look,” I said. “I’m sorry about this morning.”
Lane clearly had not been expecting that.
“My mind the past few days has just been so thrown for a loop,” I said. “This business with the rat has brought back some ugly memories in Ramadi, and it all came to a head when the Saints attacked. I began to believe things that I had no business believing, like that you were the rat somehow. It is, of course, utterly ridiculous to even consider such a possibility, but when your mind is shot to hell, and you don’t know any better, it’s what happens. Not an excuse, just an explanation. So, I’m sorry.”
Lane smiled and shook his head.
“I wish you’d said that before you messed up my mug,” he said. “Angela’s going to have a field day when she hears how this happened.”
“Small price to pay for trying to punch me, man,” I said with a chuckle. “But seriously, I’m sorry. I should have known that you would never throw out the club for a payday or something meaningless like that. I’m sorry for doubting your integrity. That one is absolutely on me, and I will make sure that it does not happen again.”
“You’re good,” he said, offering his hand.
I stood up to accept it, and when Lane stood up, I embraced him. The two of us patted each other on the back. We had our problems and things to worry about, but dealing with each other’s supposed betrayal was not one of them.
“And I’m sorry for not understanding you better—”
“Don’t,” I said. “Some stories are just meant to be put to the back end. Some aspects of life aren’t meant to be understood.”
Lane looked hurt for a second, but when he saw the pain in my eyes, I think he understood. Kaitlyn had, in some ways, gotten lucky—or unlucky, depending on one’s perspective—to hear the story. I doubted that I would share it with anyone else. Healing wouldn’t come by looking back, but, as Axle said, by moving forward.
“Understood, man,” Lane said. “Whatever I can do to help.”
“You can start by letting Axle off the hook,” I said. “I don’t know who it is, but I know that Axle came to me when I went away. He’s the reason I’m back here.”
“Yeah, he called me out on it before he left,” Lane admitted. “Right when you left, he stormed into my office and told me I was full of shit. He said that he suspected a rat too, but he offered to show me his entire cell phone records. He didn’t need to. I realized as soon as he called me out that I was being an idiot.”
It was a great relief to know that the military men of the group were not the ones who were the rats. Granted, there was no way we could truly, one hundred percent know with complete certainty until the real rat was exposed, but I knew that the odds were now significantly slimmer than even I had anticipated.
“By the way,” Lane said. “Did you know that Kaitlyn and I had lunch?”
“No?” I said. “I haven’t heard from her since this morning. We’ve played phone tag a bit, though. What happened?”
Lane chuckled, leaning back in his chair.
“I... thought that somehow, if I confronted her, I’d understand why you and I fought and why she hadn’t joined us as a nurse yet. But, fuck me, I handled it really poorly.”
“So you drove her away, and now she’s never going to work for the Black Reapers, huh?”
“Yup,” Lane admitted.
“Well, that’s probably what she’s called me about,” I said. “Let’s make this easy. I’ll put her on speakerphone, and when she answers, I can bring you on, and you can apologize.”
“Ugh, you’re really going to make me do that?”
“You wouldn’t if I said something offensive to Angela?”
