He paused to clear his throat. I couldn’t quite get a gauge of his tone, but if I had to guess, I would say it was somewhere around nervous but excited. But I didn’t know him well enough to really say for sure one way or the other.
“Look, so, I wanted to talk about last night,” he said. “I feel like I’ve been avoiding the fully honest approach in favor of the soft touch, and maybe that works somewhat, but I think it’s time I be fully honest.”
“Okay,” I said, curious if his “fully honest” was the same as mine.
“I’ll just say it right out, I like you,” he said. That made me feel warm inside, far more than I cared to admit. “I like you a lot, Kaitlyn. Some might call you stubborn, but I prefer to think of you as someone who is determined and knows what her value is. You’re sweet, but you’re willing to be harsh. You’re unafraid to go into dangerous areas. And you’re smart. Not a lot of women like you.”
The flattery was nice, but I told myself to remain strong. Words could not change my decision, no matter how sweet.
“I want to make it clear that when I ask you out, there’s as much a feeling of desire as there is business. In fact, I daresay that you are the woman I am most after right now.”
Wow. Well, talk about really getting to the point. True to his word.
“But before I try and make it sound like it’s destiny for me to win your heart, you need to know what sort of shit you’re getting into,” he said with the kind of laugh that was meant more to soften his statement and less to make it sound anything like sarcasm or silliness. “I was in the military, that is absolutely true. But I’ve seen some shit that still affects me to this day. I don’t know if your father ever experienced anything similar, but if you ever had moments where you wish he was more open but actually wasn’t, well, you’re probably going to get a similar experience with me. And… there’s also something else that you need to know.”
He took a deep breath. I braced myself for a confession of a crime, a confession of club duties, of…
“I was once married.”
Of all the things I expected to hear, that definitely was not one of them. In one sense, I guess I could see it—Michael was an attractive guy, so it was of little surprise that someone would have found him attractive enough to marry.
But on the other hand, really?
It just went to show that I didn’t actually know Michael that well. As much as I thought I had a sense of him, it was obvious I’d only seen one dimension of him, the good side. And while being divorced wasn’t necessarily indicative of him being a bad person or anything like that, it was clear that he had seen some dark days that were not just from his time in the military.
“And I know for some people, that’s a deal-breaker. So, I want to put it right out there, as if you are looking at me in an online profile. I’ve danced around how I feel about you to this point, Kaitlyn, but that’s not going to happen anymore. I think you feel the same way, but I’ll leave that up to you.”
My immediate reaction?
Well, it wasn’t exactly in line with the intent that I had given this moment. It was almost like him saying he thought I felt the same way made me, in fact, feel kind of the same way.
“I know you’ll need time figuring out if you’ll ever be a nurse for us, and I’m not overly concerned if you are or aren’t,” he said. “At least, that’s not my most pressing personal concern. What does matter to me is that I want to get to know you better. I want to understand you better. And I want to see where this will go.”
Wow.
I had to hand it to Michael. Most men were too afraid or beat around the bush too much. It took a real man to be as straightforward as he was, and that was something that I utterly admired about him.
I wasn’t ready to go all in. That would have been silly. He wasn’t asking me to be his girlfriend. But I did have to remind myself that I had felt the complete opposite just seconds before he had called.
“I know I’m rambling, but this is the last thing I’ll say,” Michael said with a short laugh. “I’m still working on myself. I’m still dealing with some shit. I may reach a point where the personal shit that I’m dealing with is too much for me to keep trying anything with you. But I’ll always be honest, and I’ll come into this with fully good intentions.”
Damnit, Michael, why do you have to speak so well?
He was flawed, self-admittedly so, but the fact that he had the awareness to walk away if needed and to not cling to me if I said no... well, damnit, it kind of worked. It kind of made me want to see what would happen.
“Your honesty was needed, and it’s much appreciated,” I said. “Yeah… yeah, you know what? Let’s see where it goes. No promises and no guarantees. But we’ll see.”
What the hell did you just do, Kaitlyn?
“Good enough,” Michael said. “How does Thursday evening work? I should be free around nine or so.”
It was a little late, but since Friday was the start of my time off, it was basically like doing a Friday or Saturday night date.
“Works for me,” I said.
“Perfect, I’ll text you details then,” he said. “I’ll let you go. I’m sure you’re happy to get home and relax after a shift.”
The thought flashed to mind that I needed to tell him about Devon working for the Fallen Saints, but it didn’t feel like the right time. He’d unloaded a lot on me, a lot of good things, and I didn’t think it was fair to throw back at him some bad news.
