“Do you feel the same way?” I said. “Angela? How do you feel?”
Angela sighed, wore a sad smile, and patted my leg reassuringly a couple of times.
“I like you,” she said. “Maybe from a career perspective, this isn’t smart, but I don’t feel that way after Beth. I’m an adult. I can compartmentalize things. But from the perspective of Shannon? I’m confused.”
“That’s the perfect word,” I said, causing us both to laugh. “Confused.”
We were confused about what we might be. We were confused about the implications of what we were doing. We were confused about how Shannon might have felt about this. We were confused about if we should even concern ourselves with what she would have thought.
It didn’t really matter, in one way. She was gone, and nothing was going to bring her back. But...
Fuck, why can’t emotions be easy? Why can’t I just ignore them and move on with things?
“I think we both have a lot to figure out, and we have to go slow to figure it out,” Angela said.
“I’d agree with that,” I said. “And just to be clear, I like you too, even if you intentionally lose at pool.”
“Oh my God, you knew?”
We both had a much-needed laugh at that.
“No one misses a shot like you had. Why, if I didn’t even know any better, I’d swear you wanted me to kiss you.”
“Why, I never,” Angela said in an exaggerated fashion.
“Well, I always,” I said, and I leaned forward to kiss her.
Strangely, that much felt fine. Sex might have been pushing the boundary, but showing I liked Angela by kissing her didn’t feel wrong. It felt like the appropriate action—nothing about it made me feel uncomfortable.
“Let’s just promise each other that we’re going to be emotionally honest and vulnerable with each other,” Angela said. “Can you do that?”
Can I? It’s literally all I’ve been doing with the Reapers for the last few weeks. No problem.
“I’ll do my best,” I said with a warm smile.
I looked her up and down as she smiled. I had to admit, from a physical perspective, sleeping with Angela would be a delight. She had such a lithe but fit body, the kind of body that promised tightness and warmth. I was slowly getting harder thinking about her.
But emotionally... I would have gotten a minute or so in, realized I couldn’t have faked it, and lost all arousal to her. That could not happen.
“Just do me one favor,” I said.
“Hmm.”
“Sleep here tonight,” I said. “With the wine you’ve had, I don’t want you to do anything stupid. You can take the couch. You know it’s quite comfortable.”
“Well aware of that,” she said with a gentle smile.
“Come on, I’ll get you some blankets and a pillow.”
Angela did as I requested, following me out and heading to the couch. I threw her a blanket from the closet and headed to the bedroom. When I came back, she had her back turned to me and had taken her pants off, leaving her in just her shirt, bra, and underwear. Her lithe, smooth legs had me aroused in an instant, and the temptation to just bulldoze ahead, take her for myself, and fuck her on the couch was a strong one.
But...
No, not tonight.
Not until I could figure out if I could sleep with her without feeling guilty. She deserved better than that.
I let out a gentle cough to let her know I was there. She didn’t seem fazed at all by it, turning to face me with a warm smile.
