“So you see,” she said. “This is why I do what I do. All things being equal, and all the cops and first responders being safe? Maybe I’d have a harder leash with Roger and prevent the Reapers from being who they are. But that’s not how the world works. It’s not an ideal classroom setting.”
I smiled, knowing I wasn’t too far removed from that myself.
“My days in this job are not for much longer, Angela,” she said. “I have been looking for someone I knew could step into this role and handle it with aplomb. I’ve had many associates and deputies come through here, but not many have the drive you do.”
My eyes went wide at the implication. I was... I was going to be the District Attorney in this town at some point soon? Was she serious?
“The thing you just need to learn is differentiating between the spirit of the law and the letter of the law. You want to bring justice to your friend? How can you do that in spirit?”
I nodded my head. I couldn’t pretend that all my fears were perfectly assuaged. I still had a feeling that, in due time, I’d need to crack down a little on the extracurriculars of the Reapers. But I could better understand the need for them, and I could certainly see how a relationship—a professional one—with Lane would be better for helping me accomplish them.
“In any case, you’re fired from quitting, so you’re stuck with me.”
It was a much-needed joke for a very serious conversation. I think I laughed more than Beth did. I knew there was no way I could call Beth corrupt now.
“Thank you, Beth,” I said. “Can I have a day to think about it?”
“Yes,” she said. “Go home and sleep on it. Even if you still quit, I want you to take a full day to rest on it. But my last piece of advice for you is this. Getting justice for your friend isn’t a one-act play. It’s not like you arrest the person who murdered her and leave it at that. You honor her and bring her justice by doing your job to the highest level, fighting for those who are on the right side of the law, and bringing in those who are not. It will take your entire career, but it will be that much more rewarding.”
At the moment, the words didn’t carry a ton of weight, as I found myself not able to look that far out. I couldn’t just shake the mindset of finding one person. To think beyond that was to assume I would be able to think beyond that.
But as I left Beth’s office and as I thought about it, I better understood what she meant. She wasn’t saying I should have just come here for one person. I had to come here to fulfill my potential for everyone like Shannon, who couldn’t speak up for themselves. Justice was not a contained act, but a state of mind, a sort of purpose that drove me.
And that begins with understanding who is on the right side of the law.
I pulled out my phone when I got in my car. I pulled up the number which I had not yet saved in my phone but already knew by heart.
“Hey, sorry about last night,” I wrote. “Let my emotions get the best of me, a bit of a crazy day. Talked to my boss about everything and I feel bad. I’m sorry.”
I locked my phone as soon as I sent that.
I didn’t expect Lane to write me back. I didn’t even think he’d keep the message on his phone. I just wanted to plant the seed that someday, maybe he and I could communicate some more. We certainly wouldn’t be romantic, not after the way I had run out, but I could at least be warm and polite with him.
I drove home, feeling odd that I would be at my house before noon, and checked my phone only when I got back to the house. I was surprised to see he had already written me back—in fact, he’d done so just one minute after my text.
“No worries. I know this whole thing is kind of weird. Trying to figure it out myself.”
What surprised me, though, was that much time had passed, and only now did he appear to be sending another message. There was obviously no way he could have known I would be checking my phone then, but the timing was sort of bizarre.
“Would love to grab a drink with you if you want to talk about it. Want to do somewhere private. If you’re open for it, no pressure.”
There were two ways to read that text, and both of them played out in my head.
The first was that this was basically a sex invitation, especially if the “private place” would end up being his place. Going over there didn’t automatically guarantee that we’d sleep together, but it would significantly increase the chances.
The second was that he really did value the privacy and really did want to understand and discuss things.
The third, which I only just considered now, was that both options were on the table.
The only thought that really stayed in my mind was the recurring theme that it wasn’t a bad idea. It wasn’t necessarily something I was all in on, but I couldn’t see much harm coming from it. Honestly... if I did sleep with him, he was pretty handsome. And it wasn’t like it could confuse things any further.
After talking with Beth, after all, it was pretty apparent that true objectivity was impossible.
Fuck it. Might be a bad decision, but, hell, whatever.
“Yeah, I’m down. Where and when?”
He wrote back immediately.
