PROLOGUE
BAZ
Mid-nineties
I hate my family sometimes. My dad likes to throw his rules around and my brother is a pain in the arse. My hands are jittery so I discreetly pop a tablet into my mouth. I know they’re not my tablets but I feel so much calmer when I take one. New starts are scary and right now, I’m scared, but leaving home earlier tonight was the right decision. My life has been pants since the bedroom share. I’ve hated every moment of it, all because my dad wants a hobby room.
My mate Chipper pats me on the back as he downs the last of his lager. ‘Keep in touch, okay, mate? Maybe we can do that Ibiza holiday we keep talking about soon, once you’ve settled into your new pad.’ Chipper won’t be going anywhere for years but I might still go. Who knows, I might get a job selling boat trips.
It’s late. I gaze at the several pint and shot glasses lined up on our table. The bartender calls last orders. Drinking chasers wasn’t the best idea because I’m now feeling like shite. Dad always told me not to knock back shots and to stick to the pints.
I don’t tell Chipper that I’ll be sleeping in my car for now even though it’s cold outside. The bedsit I’m moving into isn’t available until a week next Wednesday and I can’t bear to stay in that house a minute longer. The arguments have been happening every day now. Those last words before I left are haunting me now. I smile, just to show Chipper that everything is okay even though it’s not. I don’t need an interrogation tonight. For a second, I wonder if I should tell him what went down at home and maybe stay on his couch. But, then again, there isn’t room at his with the baby being due. No, I won’t ask. He’s already staying with his mum and his pregnant girlfriend is there too. They’re all crammed in a two-bedroomed flat. His mum wouldn’t be happy. I don’t want to put anyone out and I do have my rusty Mini. ‘I’m happy for you, mate. You’ll be a great dad. We’ll do Ibiza one day.’
‘Thanks. I’m happy, too, I think.’
‘You think?’ The room is swaying a bit. I wish I hadn’t drunk so much, especially the shots. What even were they? Toffee, coffee, banoffee? Every time I swallow, I taste them again and that taste makes me want to puke.
‘Well, it’s hard, isn’t it? I’m going to be a dad at twenty. I mean, what the hell? We didn’t plan this.’ He pauses and sighs. ‘I best go. I told her I wouldn’t be too late. Call me when you’ve settled into the new place so I can visit. I’ll bring you something, maybe a pot plant. That’s what people give as a house-warming, isn’t it? A spider plant in a macramé basket. God, I’m going to have to get good at this stuff if I’m going to be a husband and father soon.’
I laugh, wondering what the hell I’d want with a pot plant in my room the size of a box. He grabs his hoodie and stands. ‘I will do but I’ll pass on the plant. Buy one for your mum instead. It might cheer her up with having your smelly arse around the place.’
Chipper nudges me and laughs. ‘Don’t forget, call when you’re sorted.’
With those final words, Chipper leaves and now I need to go. The place is emptying out. All these people are going home to their nice warm beds and I get to cram my lanky legs into the back of a Mini because of my stupid dad. I pull my car keys from my pocket and start the ten-minute walk to the quiet little road I parked in, the one that backs onto some woodland. The bear key ring is an annoying chunk of rubbish that I will definitely remove and bin when I get five minutes, maybe when I get to the woods. Dad bought it for me when I first got given a set of house keys but I’m too old to have a teddy bear key ring.
I figured I won’t get bothered by the trees and I can hide under my blanket in the car. I flinch as I replay all the shouting at home over the past week. I hope they’re missing me and feel bad that I left home. As I half stumble off the kerb, I replay the argument we had earlier. It was pathetic and the wrestling on the floor with my little brother was even more pathetic.
It’s dark and cold. I can’t see well but there’s shouting ahead. I try to focus on the group of men kicking something on the ground but my vision is getting a bit blurry from the tablet. The closer I get, the clearer the mass on the ground becomes. They’re kicking Chipper. I stagger over and muscle through the crowd. ‘Get off him,’ I yell before pulling one man by the arm and flinging him to the ground. One thing I’m proud of is my strength. All those days at the gym are paying off now, even if I’m verging on paralytic and half drugged up.
A thin man with a missing front tooth is about to lay the boot into Chipper again so I draw back my fist and hit him, the impact of which I’m sure knocked out his remaining front tooth. Adrenaline pumps through me, rendering me almost deaf as my heart beats in my ears.
My friend is curled up in the foetal position, his face a bloodied mess and the other three keep going at him. ‘Chip, I’m going to get you out of this.’ I grab another man, or is he a boy? Either way I snatch his long hair in my fist and yank him downwards so hard, his face hits the tarmac. The others are shouting about Chipper getting so-and-so’s sister pregnant.
Strong arms come up behind me and wrench me back. I elbow my attacker hard in the stomach before turning and punching him on the nose. That’s when I catch sight of the police hat falling to the ground, moments before the police officer drops next to it. I just punched a police officer in the face and he looks as unconscious as Chipper does. I’m going to be in such big trouble. ‘I was helping my friend. I’m sorry,’ I say to him as I attempt to check for a pulse. I only wanted to save my friend. I’m on their side.
I’m dragged backwards by two officers and all the time I can see Chipper. He’s still on the pavement as his attackers are dragged away and thrown into a riot van. I can only hope they show me some mercy when it comes to charging me because I never set out to hurt anyone.
The van hops over several speed bumps and I can’t fight the wooziness that is coming over me. The tablet is also kicking in fast. I feel worse with every second that passes. Each bend is hell and my stomach keeps churning.
I don’t feel like me. I know I shouldn’t have taken the Valium I stole from Mum. Either everything is a blur or I’m asleep and all this is a dream. The custody sergeant has booked me in and I’m being dragged into a cell. Everything is fuzzy. The two officers push me and I hit the floor. I turn onto my back and look up and one of them spits in my face. Another officer comes into the cell. ‘Get up,’ he shouts.
I can’t get up – I can barely feel my limbs and the room is spinning like I’m riding the waltzers. My eyes close and their shouting fades into the distance.
My world goes black and I’m enjoying the peace of it all but then I can’t breathe. Is it a dream? The more I try to inhale, the more I choke. A flash of memory hits me. Chipper covered in blood. All those men punching and kicking him. The unconscious police officer. I try to inhale but it’s a fight I’m losing. My whole body feels heavy – so heavy. I’m not going to make it.
All I can think of as I gasp for breath is my brother. I shouldn’t have sworn at him like that before throwing him to the ground and pinning him down in a headlock. He’s not as strong and I know I hurt him. I want to tell him I’m sorry, that I didn’t mean anything I said or did. He’s not a loser or a dickhead. As for Dad, he only did his best and I had to go and walk out in a temper and tell them I was never going back. I love my dad so much.
I want to scream for help but I can’t move… or breathe…
ONE
TINA
Thursday, 20 November
Tina opened her curtains to another pleasant morning. Like every year, there seemed to be less and less coldness during winter and more mild yucky rain, and this year was no exception. She glanced through the netting covering the lounge window at the silver Mercedes that was still parked on her drive. The large oak tree that stood like a huge umbrella above half of her drive had shed even more leaves and the car had become swamped under a blanket of them, but that wasn’t her problem. That car stopped being her problem four days ago, when the owner was meant to collect it. People really took the pee and she hated it. Her prices were cheap, much cheaper than what they charge at the train station, which is why her space was so popular.
She checked the parking app. Not a word from the car’s owner – a woman called Maura Pickering. She paid in full for one night which has now turned into five nights, which now caused her a problem because her next customer was turning up in half an hour. That also meant she’d have to park her car onthe road to make room for that car. She hated parking on the road. The last time she left her car out, it got scratched. All this because of one entitled woman. Tina placed her phone to her ear and tried to call the number the woman had registered to the app – again – and again all she got was that dead tone sound. It was obviously a fake number.
