A glazed-over look filled Laura’s face. ‘They say there’s a moment when you click, when you really see the abuser in front of you, when you stop trying to excuse or defend them.’ She paused and placed her hands on the table, where she began to play with a chip in the wood. ‘I was pregnant before I left him and I wanted that baby more than anything. I wanted someone who would love me no matter what, someone to care for. When you’ve been abused like I was, you feel like you have no one in the whole world and I didn’t have anyone until Bethany came along. Anyway.’ She wiped the tears with the back of her hand. ‘He killed the baby inside me. He caused me to miscarry. By this time, I’d already named her. The baby was always a girl in my mind. She was always going to be called Bethany. I’d already imagined a life with her as her mother. I’d pictured us on the beach, me taking her to school, us going to the cinema to watch Disney films. I imagined a whole life and that was cruelly ripped away from me in a few seconds.’ She sobbed hard.
Sadness ripped through Natalie as she took a seat opposite her. What was she doing, making Laura relive all this because of something Mary had said? She snatched a piece of the kitchen roll and handed it to Laura. What she’d done was made her friend feel trapped and abused all over again by forcing her to relive the pain, but if Natalie had to, she’d beg her to tell her the truth.
‘I know this is hurting you. Please, Laura. What happened after?’
‘I saw baby Rachel. Mary was talking to old man Pritchard at the time. He was laying out his catch in boxes on the harbour path. Rachel was sleeping and she looked like a tiny china doll. I don’t know what I was thinking, in fact, I barely remember pushing her towards your shop. The next thing I remember, Mary grabbed the back of my T-shirt, yanking me back, all in a fluster. She called me a few names and took Rachel’s pushchair off me. I was only pushing her. I wasn’t going to take her.’
‘You say, you couldn’t remember pushing her away?’ If what Laura was saying to her was true, it might be possible that she took Jessica and failed to remember.
Laura shook her head. ‘I know what you’re thinking. Some sad woman who lost her own child, tried to steal one belonging to another woman. Well, you’re wrong. I didn’t hurt Rachel and I didn’t hurt Jess.’
‘I didn’t say that you hurt Jessica, intentionally. Maybe you can’t remember.’
She slammed her hand on the table. The salt and pepper shakers rattled against each other. ‘I’d remember a baby suddenly appearing if I took one. I’m not mad, you know. I simply pushed a baby’s pushchair a few feet away from her mother. That’s all there is to it. I apologised and I begged Mary not to say anything. She knew what I’d been through and I guess she believed that I wasn’t a danger to Rachel. That was it. We left it at that and nothing like that ever happened again.’
‘When was this?’
‘Does it matter?’
‘It does to me.’ Natalie huffed out a sharp breath.
‘When Rachel was really tiny, I can’t remember exactly when. Is that it, can I go now?’
‘So, let me get this right. You weren’t pregnant when you moved to Looe?’
‘No, I’d just lost a baby.’
‘What was the deal with you and Cody?’
She shook her head and stood. ‘That is none of your business.’
Natalie stood and stepped towards her friend, placing a hand on one of her shoulders. ‘Please, Laura, I need to know what happened.’
‘Why? Why on earth do you need to know who I was sleeping with? Okay, but if you breathe one word to anyone, I will kill you and that’s a promise.’ She swallowed. ‘Cody was seeing someone at the time and she was already pregnant with his baby, that’s why he stayed in Looe. It wasn’t because his dad needed help. He chose me to talk to, me to confide in. He didn’t plan to be a dad, in fact, he didn’t even love Daisy’s mum but he stood by her, right up until she died. I provided him with an ear to listen to and some comfort. I was lonely myself at the time and guess what, it just happened. We slept together once after a few drinks. We were young and stupid. Then I found out I was pregnant with Bethany. When I started showing, he guessed. Cody knew she was his but we agreed never to speak about it and I wanted that too. Like I said, Bethany has always been mine and mine alone and Cody didn’t want to complicate his life. That arrangement suited us both.’
‘I’m sorry.’ A thought flashed through Natalie’s mind. She pictured Laura telling everyone she was pregnant then Jess disappeared. Was she really pregnant or had she spotted an opportunity when she saw baby Jessica with her sleeping drunken father? She’d already taken a baby once, maybe she did it again.
Everything felt wrong. Whatever had happened, whatever she’d done, Natalie would stick by her friend. It was obvious all along now. After all, Laura was the only person she had left in the world.
She’d work out what to do about Kate later.
FORTY-SEVEN
KATE
Thursday, 27 October
I’ve been awake most of the night, staring into the darkness in the hope that I will receive a message from Will. My heart pounds. If I don’t hear from Will soon, we’ll be packed up and home, then it will be too late.
Gently, I release my leg from the entangled quilt and my toe touches the carpet. This house creaks when anyone moves about in it and I don’t want to wake Dad and the girls.
I creep across the bedroom, feeling my way in the dark until I reach the door. Turning the handle, I grimace at the slight click as the door opens. The cottage is silent except for my dad’s snores coming from the living room.
I check my phone again, just like I’ve been doing all night long.
Maybe those messages were just a ploy to waste what little time I have left. It infuriates me that Natalie didn’t call me back, despite all the messages that I’ve sent her. She’s abandoned me too.
A message appears in my inbox. It’s ten past four in the morning and now he’s messaging me. Will knew that I wasn’t getting any sleep tonight.
