He leans in and places his arms around me, and I let him. I have missed him for so long and he’s the only person in the world who shares the burden of Jess’s accident with me. Damien will never understand, not like my dad does. I can’t believe I shut him out of my life for so long. I should have been there to help him with his drink problem. I abandoned him.
‘Come on, Katie. Everything will be fine, I know it will.’
‘No, I brought the girls into this and it’s not fair.’ Whoever is out there, playing me like a game will not let me win. I think of the message sent to me while we were on the beach. It’s not safe here. ‘We need to pack to go home. Tomorrow afternoon we leave and on the way back, we’ll stop at the police station to speak to PC Bickerford one more time? I’ve had it with this place and I want to go home to Damien.’
I will show the messages to the PC, tell her everything I know or have heard and I’ll do the right thing and leave the police to do the police work. I can keep in touch with Natalie from Leicester. Right now, I need to think about the baby I’m carrying and saving my marriage, if that’s at all possible. Once trust is broken, there’s no going back. Damien will never believe anything I say again.
‘Of course. Whatever you choose to do, I’m here.’
I stroke my stomach. ‘If it’s a girl, I want to call her Jessica.’
My dad’s eyes glass up with tears and he shakes them away. ‘I think that’s a lovely idea.’
‘Or if it’s a boy, I like Jesse, like Jesse James.’ I hope Damien approves.
‘Grandad, hurry up.’ Millie’s voice makes me jump.
‘Right, I best get these empty toilet rolls to the girls. You coming to help?’
I nod. ‘Yes, do you mind if I take a shower first. I’ve got sand everywhere?’
‘Course not.’
With that he leaves me alone in the bathroom. I exhale and sit on the toilet seat, taking a moment to process all that has happened. There’s so much I want and need to do, but I’m now stuck in this cottage and we’re going home tomorrow. Maybe it’s for the best. I message Damien to let him know.
I log on to Facebook and see that I have a message notification. Quickly pressing the buttons I need to press to get to theRemembering Baby Jessmessages, I see that Will Wilcox has reactivated his account and he’s typing. The three dots wiggle then stop. My mouth is so dry, but I can’t move, not until I see what Will has to say.
I click on his profile and his profile picture is dark. When I pinch out to get a better look, a shiver runs through me. It’s a picture of Willy Wilcox’s cave. I scroll down his wall – nothing. Then a message pings.
With a tremble, I manage to click on it.
All you had to do was to not say a thing but you couldn’t help yourself. The truth was yours to have and you blew it. You blew everything and now you will know nothing. I said I’d vanish and now I will. Everything is going to shit and it’s all your fault.
No, this can’t be happening. The profile is once again taken down and all I see is the outline of a grey head in a grey box. Will has gone forever. I’m confused. I know Will told me not to say anything but then I was attacked in a cave. That was a game changer. Then came all the ‘go home’ messages on my phone and the creepy stuff on Instagram about the sea. That message on my car window. How dare this person tell me I shouldn’t have spoken after they tried to kill me.
There’s another feeling welling up inside me and it’s sent the grief and anxiety packing. I’m livid. My knuckles clench and I realise I’m grinding my teeth. Grabbing a towel from the rail, I turn on the shower, press the material hard into my mouth and I scream into it.
I don’t know what to do. I’m itching to go out there and show this message to Natalie. Maybe it’s her or Laura or Cody. I feel like people here are watching my every move. They’re all in on it. Whoever this Will is, he was never going to tell me the truth. Then I think of Archie. Maybe he’s not as forgetful as he leads everyone to think.
Stepping into the shower, I allow the warm water to wash away the sand, the tears and the greasy chip fat from my fingers. Through the water and soap, I catch the light of my phone from the corner of my eye. Without any hesitation, I turn the shower off and step out, drying my hands before I snatch the phone. It’s another message. Will is back.
I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I’ll contact you soon to meet up. Please don’t leave.
I answer immediately.
How do I know I can trust you?
A response pings straight back.
You don’t, but you can. If I see anyone else there, you will never hear from me again. You will never know what happened to Jess.
I reply.
I’ll be there. Where? When?
Biting my bottom lip, I flinch as a strip of skin tears. It feels wrong to go but my messenger doesn’t seem threatening any more. I get the sense that they want to finally unburden themselves. Damien would be livid but I have one last chance to know what happened. Shaking my fears away, I’ve already decided. I am going to meet this person and I’ll finally find out who Will is. All I have to do is await the details for our meet up.
For now, I need to go downstairs, play arts and crafts and pretend that nothing is wrong while I wait for the message. I can do this.
