‘Look in there, Katie. Those children need their mother. Please promise me that you won’t put yourself in danger. If something were to happen to you after Jess, I—’
I wipe my eyes. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘Those little girls have missed you. They’ve been happy playing with stranger grandad but they need you too.’
‘I’m sorry for leaving you with them for so long. There’s one more thing I need to do, then that’s it.’ I um and err as to whether I should tell him about the navy-blue car and the oil leak, then I decide not to say anything. He’s already nervously tapping his fingers on the table. I will know for definite as soon as I find out where Laura lives.
‘Is it dangerous?’
‘No, I promise. All I have to do is go to Laura’s shop. She’s definitely not dangerous.’
‘Should we all go?’
‘No, I don’t want to drag the girls along for this conversation. It’s not right.’ I can’t tell him that I’m planning to follow the woman.
He looks at me like he doesn’t believe a word I say. ‘Why don’t you call the police now and tell them what you’ve found out. They can talk to Laura instead. It’s their job, not yours.’
‘I will, later. I promise.’ As soon as I’ve said that, my phone rings. I snatch it immediately and place it to my ear. ‘It’s the police,’ I mouthed. ‘Have you found anything?’
I listen for a few seconds and add the odd yes and okay, then the call ends.
‘What did they say?’ My dad leans forward, waiting for answers.
‘A witness said they saw a woman on the beach about the same time that I was there. At the moment, they’re treating her as a witness. They’re putting an appeal out on social media later today with the help of the local press. They said she was wearing a black coat, a hood and walking boots. There’s no useful CCTV. What they have is grainy and I’m only caught on two cameras.’
‘A person, dressed in black, following you. That sounds like the description you gave of the person watching the cottage.’
The more I think of Laura, the more convinced I am that she’s the person who has been following me but I can’t say that to Dad right now. She has to be Will Wilcox and I want to know why. She doesn’t scare me one bit. In the cave, she caught me off guard but not now. I’m on to her. As soon as I’ve checked her car out, I’m passing what I know over to the police.
‘What are you thinking?’
‘I don’t know.’ I’m confused. The answers have to be there, all tangled up in what I know but I can’t unravel them. I think back to that day, twenty-five years ago. My mother dragging me towards the ice-cream shop. Now I know that Natalie was in there, serving. It couldn’t have been her. Her husband, who died, maybe it was him? It’s like my memory is clicking into place. I didn’t spend long looking at my dad and sister, all I saw was Archie’s face pressed against the window of his boat. If only I had. My mother has said many times that she doesn’t remember any more.
I check the time and it’s nearly four. I have to get ready to go to the shop.
‘It’s getting on a bit. I said to Laura that I’d meet her at her shop and I don’t want to miss her. I promise I’ll stay around people. I won’t go in anyone’s house, car, boat or anywhere else, I promise. I won’t be long. Maybe when I get back, we could take the girls for an evening walk on the beach.’
‘I’d love that. I found some mackerel in the fridge by the way so I put it in the freezer.’
‘The girls caught it with Damien.’ I swallow my sadness down. He’s still refusing to engage with me. ‘I’ll be back before you know it.’
My dad grabs a tissue and wipes his eyes.
‘Are you okay?’ I ask him.
He shakes his head. ‘I sat in this kitchen with your mother. You and Jess were in front of the television with some loud cartoons blaring out. She hadn’t talked to me for hours, which is how things often went when we’d been bickering. I can’t even remember what we argued about now. Anyway, that’s all I remember. It’s nothing. If I could go back to that day and do everything differently.’
Right now, I know my dad is the only person on earth who understands how I feel.
‘It’s hard. I’m reminded of the life I never had with Jess. I’m hoping that we can move on after this. We have to be able to.’
Grabbing my bag, I leave my dad in the kitchen. I need to hurry upstairs, do this test and head out before I miss my opportunity. I’m running out of minutes, hours and days.
I lock myself in the bathroom and pee on the stick, then I stare at it willing time to go faster. The results show up. I throw the stick in the bin under a batch of used make-up wipes and I sit on the loo, head leaning back against the wall.
I really don’t know where my life is going right now. A part of me wants to run down the stairs, pretend that all this isn’t happening. On a normal day, I’d be happy and Damien would be thrilled but now, he won’t even communicate with me. We’ve talked about another baby before but he’d been hesitant. He thought I would be even more stifling if we had three and he said it was too much work because I’d never let anyone help with the children. I think I’ve proved otherwise with Dad being here. Gulping down the ball of emotion in my throat, I take a deep breath and decide to mull it over for awhile before I try to call him again.
For now, the knowledge that I’m pregnant is mine and mine alone. Right now, I have a woman to follow.
